Husband is having a child with Mistress

I am trying to make this story as short as possible. I have been with my husband since I was 17 years old. However, we didn't get married until I was 32 years old and he was 33. Through our years together I have experienced just about everything a woman can go through with a man. He started cheating during our second year of college. I was in love with him and he was the only man I had been with so I made excuses for his behavior. I summed it up to we were in a committed relationship at such a young age and he wanted to know what it was like to date or have sex with other people. Keep in mind I was 20 years old and was a complete idiot. His cheating ways continued throughout the years and he said I am partially to blame because he was not satisfied with out sex life. Now all these years later we get married in 2016 and 2 months after marriage he leaves me for his current affair partner. Before that we tried counseling and it only lasted 3 sessions and he split. Keep in mind we have know each other 17 years. A month after he left to explore life with another woman he comes home and tells me the woman is pregnant. I was already depressed because he left our marriage but stated he was only leaving because he did not want to continue to live with me and still be doing the nasty evil things he was doing with other woman. However, when he told me the affair partner was knocked up, I completely lost it. I have not been in my right mind since then. It gets even worse after I found out about this woman being pregnant because my husband and I have no kids together and this will be his first if it is indeed his child. I started taking all types of pills and supplements to help deal with my stress and depression because I was suicidal. I had been on birth control for 13 years and never stopped taking it after he left. However, I found out about 6 months after he left that I am now pregnant myself and was told by my doctor the meds I was taking don't mix with birth control. The doctor informed me since I was popping pills like candy I messed with the effectiveness of my pills. I was outdone because I do not want a baby with a man who left me for another woman.

However, I still love my spouse and I am very ashamed to admit that. He lives with this other woman but claims he realized a while ago that he made a huge mistake and is not in love with this woman. However, he is still living in the woman's house and states she is low income and has no job. Now he is concerned about the child that is due any day and feels like he needs to stick around to see how she is going to do with the baby and he wants to help her. Also this woman is having a boy and is naming the child after my husband. Keep in mind I always told myself for at least the past 10 years if I ever had a son he would be named after his father. Well due to this woman and my spouse, I can no longer do that if I have a boy. It all feels like a cruel joke. Yes the woman knew about me but she does not give two shits and is selfish like my spouse. My husband knows I am pregnant with his child and the child was conceived during the only time we were together that
month. I still had feelings for him and slept with him and now I am almost 17 weeks pregnant. I find out what I am having in 2 weeks and I am praying for a girl so I don't have to explain why I didn't name my son after his father. I am a wife but feel more like a side chick/baby momma. The other woman gets help from my spouse and he has not left her side but claims to not be in love with her and he is doing it all for the child. No one in my family knows because they would be beyond upset and would probably try to hurt my spouse. His immediate family knows and they are disgusted and want a DNA test before they claim the outside child. My husband said he plans to tell the other woman about my pregnancy after she delivers any day now. He said he is still in love with me and wants to give our marriage another shot.

However, I hate him for what he has done and know he feels torn because the other woman wants to be a family with him and the child. He told me he wants to see the child born and that's the only reason why he is still there. He has told so many lies I don't know what to believe. I always wanted to give my child a fair chance at life with a mother and father. I never wanted just a baby daddy and my life has not worked out the way I planned. I know it's 100% my fault because I stayed with a cheater and now I am paying the consequences. I know because I was weak and stupid that I played myself. I am torn and don't know what to do. I don't even think God could help us now. I still pray for my marriage to be restored but I know I am praying for something that isn't right. God will probably not answer my prayer and that woman's baby will probably really be his because I have the worst luck ever. I am just torn and humiliated. I don't think it's possible for me to accept an outside child although the child is innocent. However, the thought of it makes me want to vomit. Can someone please give me some advice. Thank You!