Nothing in commmon anymore

Then cultivate something.

You're a grownup. So ask - would you like to take a class together? Do you want to try a new hobby together? Let's plan a vacation together, just the two of us.

Get a museum membership for just the two of you (not the kids - get them another activity during this time), or a summer pass to the beach or local theater. Take up cosplaying and start to go to local conventions that cater to a fandom you share. Go hunt Pokémon. Start a garden. Take up running, and start doing 5ks together. Go to church together.

Whatever works. Try it.

You can also try counseling, BTW, if any of that doesn't fly.

You have children and you have been together for a long time, and congratulations on getting sober. That's wonderful news and it's an achievement not many people can claim.

But what also happened when you got sober is that you realized you had changed, and so had your wife.

#SpoilerAlert - people change over time. A lot. You aren't the teenager you were when you first met, when having a few bands in common and hating Spanish class were enough to get you to bond. Things have changed.

#SecondSpoilerAlert - divorce is expensive and it will likely be difficult for your kids. It's not an impossibility (and in the long run, it could potentially turn out better for all, but we don't know that yet), but those things do need to be considered. So give it the old college try.

#ThirdSpoilerAlert - your wife may very well be flailing, too.

So this is why I am suggesting all of these things for you, as a couple, to do. Get your kids into summer camp or soccer or ballet or piano lessons or pay a babysitter or send them to your mother's if that's possible and at least try to make friends with your wife. Have something to talk about that isn't the kids, and you'll talk about that other thing, whether it's that Han shot first (he did) or how tough it is to make a soufflé rise or how to improve your running speeds or how the tomato plants are doing.

I know that feeling. I spent over 10 years with my lady friend. Being nice to her and helping her out when possible. There was really nothing she had in common with me. I let her win all discussions and debates just to make her feel better, although on some issues we were completely opposites on. I finally broke up with her 4 years ago. I don't regret it, in fact I feel free now.