Would you be willing to date/marry an asexual?

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For background, an asexual is someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction. They may or may not be sex-repulsed, but in this case, let's say they are.

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Type: Question • Score: 12 • Views: 1,414 • Replies: 34

[+3] - Sturgis - 07/09/2017[quote][quote=hightor] I don't believe I'd date/marry someone who is "sex-repulsed" [/quote] Me neither. I would see it as a considerable character flaw or personality disorder......
[+3] - Sturgis - 07/09/2017So you still refuse to discuss your use of 'personality disorder and flaw'?
[+3] - Sturgis - 07/09/2017You additionally claim tone deafness and lack of interest in poetry as flaws [i]and[/i] disorders. Again, people are made how they are made, this does not signify flaw, disorder or deficiency.

@mtate01,

mtate01 wrote:

For background, an asexual is someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction. They may or may not be sex-repulsed, but in this case, let's say they are.

Hell. No!

1 Reply

For once I agree with Hawkeye!

No!

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

For once I agree with Hawkeye!

No!

Oh come on,,,,,,we have agreed a time or two before this!

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@mtate01,

What's the point? I have lots of friends with whom I don't have sex. An asexual could be a friend.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

What's the point? I have lots of friends with whom I don't have sex. An asexual could be a friend.

People who dont like sex should mate with others who dont like sex, and often do, though they will often pretend to be normal. However, unless they like playing outside of relationship and have permission to do so, and usually even then, people who like sex should never get with one of these people.

Pretty Certain Doom.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

People who dont like sex should mate with others who dont like sex

I have no objection to this (whatever floats their boat). But, I don't understand what it even means. Is there such a thing as asexual monogamy?

Without sex (and desire, and passion the things surrounding sex) a relationship is indistinguishable from a very deep friendship. In an asexual relationship would you be jealous of other friends?

Again, I have no argument to how any two adults define their relationship. But the whole concept doesn't make any sense to me.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Quote:
People who dont like sex should mate with others who dont like sex

I have no objection to this (whatever floats their boat). But, I don't understand what it even means. Is there such a thing as asexual monogamy?

Without sex (and desire, and passion the things surrounding sex) a relationship is indistinguishable from a very deep friendship. In an asexual relationship would you be jealous of other friends?

Again, I have no argument to how any two adults define their relationship. But the whole concept doesn't make any sense to me.

There are tons of long running relationships that started with sex, but where the sex ended, often completely, often with one of the two having no say and being deeply hurt by the other . However, there are a certain not insignificant number of people who dont like sex, never did, and who wish to never have sex again. They often never change there minds. Unfortunately not all of these people are honest with their mates before union takes place. .....cause great pain later when the inevitable happens (almost, there are people who will do a lifetime of sex even though they hate it because they dont want to hurt their mates)

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

What's the point? I have lots of friends with whom I don't have sex. An asexual could be a friend.

It says "date/marry".

1 Reply

@mtate01,

Only if it is understood that I will be having sex with other people. But really, why bother? It's not like I believe there is only one soulmate out there.

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@centrox,

A date without the possibility of sex is indistinguishable from dinner with a good friend.

A spouse without sex is indistinguishable from a roommate.

There is nothing wrong with spending time with a good friend or living with a roommate. But, I don't see the point in calling it marriage or dating.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

There is nothing wrong with spending time with a good friend or living with a roommate. But, I don't see the point in calling it marriage or dating.

Exactly. Me too.

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An asexual person has no feelings, one way or another, about sex. It is not in their head or their pelvis. They have no feelings or desires about it.

My previous church has two priests. One gave off "vibrations" the same as a bowl of cottage cheese. Number 2 gave off a definite aura of sexuality. He left the church and married a beautiful Swedish woman and had kids. I knew that was going to happen eventually.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

I don't fully agree that no sex = friendship or roommate. I feel it is completely possible for two people to be "in love" and have a monogamous relationship and not consummate the relationship with sex.

I do wonder if asexual people still have a desire for general intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, laying together, etc. I think that might make a relationship much harder to pin down, if all physical contact we're removed. I have female friends and even we hug, it's not sexual though. I've never known somebody that is asexual.

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

My previous church has two priests.

I once heard a Catholic bishop say that for some priests, the vow of celibacy was "superfluous".

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@mtate01,

Not intentionally.

That aside, there are plenty of asexual people who have dated and married over the centuries. Between societal expectations and countries where marriage is arranged before puberty, it can and does happen.

Some of these pairings can work out if there are enough similar interests apart from sex. I wouldn't even be totally surprised if their were couples over the years where both partners were asexual.

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

No.

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I don't believe I'd marry/date someone who is "sex-repulsed", as stated in the original post. But I wouldn't particularly mind if the person simply didn't feel sexual attraction for me or anybody else, assuming the person had other attractive qualities such as possessing an impressive vocabulary, being able to play the piano, or sharing similar culinary interests.

1 Reply

@hightor,

hightor wrote:

I don't believe I'd marry/date someone who is "sex-repulsed", as stated in the original post.

Me neither. I would see that as a considerable character flaw or personality disorder, significant enough to rule out a marriage or dating relationship, which for me, includes sex.

Quote:

But I wouldn't particularly mind if the person simply didn't feel sexual attraction for me or anybody else, assuming the person had other attractive qualities such as possessing an impressive vocabulary, being able to play the piano, or sharing similar culinary interests.

If they were broad minded (and generous-spirited) enough to provide an occasional hand job, then maybe provided they were impressively numerate (basic calculus at least) spoke at least one other language they had learned, were literate, and had left-socialist political views, and, of course, anti-Brexit. I say maybe, as this is a thought experiment. I would likely feel that complete asexuality was as much of a turn off as any other deficiency or flaw such as tone deafness, dislike of poetry, indifference to animal cruelty, adherence to "traditional" views about gender or race, etc.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

There is nothing wrong with spending time with a good friend or living with a roommate. But, I don't see the point in calling it marriage or dating.

1 Potential tax benefits, depending on the incomes of the two spouses.

2 The right to visit each other in the hospital.

3 Deals on health insurance.

0 Replies

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