Me and My daughter-in-law

Ok, please forgive if I make any mistake in writing as I am not native speaker. I am from Bangladesh. Actually my life is full of sad and unexpected things. I was married at 19. I have only one child, my son. My husband was a government employee. Yes, I had a nice, happy family, but my husband passed in the year 2011. I was doing a small job, I was a primary school teacher. My son was married in 2008.But 2009 he left for London for study. His wife my daughter in law was living with us and continuing her study. We were bearing her all expenses as my son weren't incoming. My husband doesn't had any land except a house in village.We lived in rented apartment in Dhaka as my husband and my workplace were there. After my husband died I was very frustated. Here my son only came Bangladesh when his father died. I hoped he would stay with us and would not go back to UK. He stayed about 4 months in Bangladesh. In this time he sold the house in village but didn't ask my permission. And the most bad news he gave me that he married in UK and he want to settle there. It was like a bolt from the blue to me and also to my daughter-in-law. I asked him what he wants to do about his first wife? He said nothing about that just said that he would manage it and I don't have to worry. He told me that he would take me to London in convenient time. Then he returned to UK. I was so much frustrated. Husband died, son almost left me. I was more worried about my daughter-in-law. My son hasn't divorced her yet. And that girl is also ill fated like me. I chose her as my son's wife.Everybody liked her and of course my son also liked her. She doesn't have parents till childhood. She was raised in her maternal uncle's house. The girl is very good and I treat her like my own daughter.She also likes me very Much. We never had any quarrel. After hearing my son's second marriage news she was broken down. Me also surely. I got some money as pension of my husband, the amount is not bad.However I was living alone for some days. Then my daughter-in-law returned as she went to her uncle's house after that incident. I said nothing to her Life was going however. In this time my son didn't say anything about taking me to london even he doesn't talk much to me now as I didn't accept his second marriage. He didn't divorce Tushi(my daaughter-in-law) still now.Sometimes he call her over phone but doesn't send any money for her or for me. Few days ago Tushi got a job in a private bank. But her posting is in a remote town. I told her to go, I have no problem. But she will never leave me. As per her wish, we shifted to that town. oh, I already left my teaching job. In this new place we started to living in a rented house. I told her to forget what happened with her. I told," you are my daughter. I don't want that rotten son. You are my everything." We living here and we introduce ourselves as mother and daughter. Believe me, I might made a sin for what God gave me such a bad son, but at the same time I might did any good work for what I got Tushi as my daughter-in-law, actually now my daughter. She cares me a lot. She buy me everything I need. She buy me books, many more. I love reading. She is closer to me than you can think. For almost 6 years she sleeps with me, she says she lost her mother but got me.She taught me using internet.She goes job, I stay at home, read, use internet, cook etc. But in a country like Bangladesh it is so much hard to live alone for a woman. Moreover she had physical needs. She shares me everything. I asked her and she told me she had sex last time 2011 when her husband was there. She said to me that she wanted child but my son disagreed. However, I am telling Tushi to get married again. But she said no. She says, her husband didn't divorce her and he sometimes contact her. But I said my son doesn't take any care of you, he doesn't play any role of husband, moreover he doesn't want you anymore. But Tushi wasn't agreed.I felt bad for her. Why she punishing herself for my bad son? I always tell her to marry again, becuase as per our Islam religion her marriage with my son may not be valid anymore for a certain time distance between them. She tells me she doesn't want to leave me, so she will not marry again. I told her, " Find such a boy who will agree to marry you and stay with us." She just smiled and said to find such a man is not possible. But now the situation is very bad. Few days ago when we were sleeping something very embarrassing happened. Ok I won't hide it and share it here. We were sleeping at night.. I said her, Don't you feel for sex? She was shy but she said yes. Then I told her, "Don't you have any boyfriend in your workplace or other? If you want you can bring your friend to home, I won't mind. You can have sex, I don't mind." Hearing that she got upset. But I really feel bad for her. She is beautiful and she has nice body, she has needs. Then why she punishing herself I don't realize. I once left her as I thought if I not there she might feel comfortable and start a new relationship. I went to my one relative's house. Though I told her I would return but I later told her I don't want to return and told her to start a new life. But she gone mad hearing that. That day she visited me and took back to her home. She cried a lot, and I could not resist her. But I really want her to live a happy life. I want her to marry, have sex, have child. But she isn't ready for it. I have given half of my savings of bank account to her, I didn't give it to my son. I don't want that son who gave me sorrows. But she says she still loves my son.She doesn't realize that he wouldn't return for her. But what I going to tell you now, may be you won't believe. May be you will tell me as a mad woman, it is true. I even till now can't believe that actually happened. Ok, my daughter in law does musterbate, I knrw it and I saw many times. As her husband was far from her, so I didn't find any wrong with that. And one day I found her fully naked doing musterbate. That means she needs sex, that's why I tell her always to marry or atleast look for a boyfriend. However, after that she got very open to me. Sometimes she did musterbate openly in the house. And once she returned from office, I went too call her for meal. But I found her on thee sofa using a tooool that I laater learned it is called dildo. Surprisingly she called me and asked to help her to use the dildo. She told me how to use it. However I was speechless that time, but did what she asked. And I felt she touching me in another way. Ok, in a short time we were nude and it was like a lesbian relation. But I don't feel good in that. I told her that she needs a man. I feel really awkward. If you have any idea about Bangladesh, thenn you can know how restricted society there. Moreover, we are muslimss, and what we did is very much sin in Islam. I really dont want it. I want my daughter get married and live happily.