Dating a widower whose 15 years older

The age difference isn't necessarily a killer, but I don't like his not showing up for scheduled dates. That would be okay sometimes, since things do come up, but you are entitled to at least a phone call and an apology.

I'm not too keen on the whole thing because I expect his schedule will continue to have a higher priority than you. There may be perfectly good reasons for this, but in your place, I just wouldn't like it.

Okay thank you Roger i thot maybe i have an error in that am expecting too much but i did try talking to him and he said i should understand that his nature of job demands him to work during the day and in some cases he has night shifts. However he said his sorry for not communicating after several times (close to ten times) of not showing up. He also said he will improve on the communicating with me so am still to see if he does( though he initially viewed it as an obsession just because i wanted to talk to him for a few minutes in a day.)

I'm okay with not talking everyday, but not getting in touch when he can't make a date still sounds like a problem. If that's what he's calling an obsession, well, that would sound like he's trying to blame you for his own faults.

Uh, while I'm okay without daily conversations, it might be important to you. I think you are going to have to decide if that's something you can live with.

The age difference does not really make a difference.
He has a busy working life.You have to learn to live with that.
What I do not understand is, that it seems to me, as the twins do not matter one bit for you. You give the impression they are just a household item.
If you are planning to get married in two years time, you should spend a lot of
time with the twins so they can get to know you and you them. When he has
night shifts maybe you could be with them.
Why on earth don´t you want sex before you are married? After all you are both grown up and not teen agers.
I have the feeling he would be much better off without you.
Not one question about how he can combine his private life and working life.
Not one word about his parents or the twins nor about his parents in law who
are the grandparents of the twins. There is more to getting into an already
close family than - I, me and myself

well thanx guess you were right am never on his list everything is about his work. Decided to end the relationship.

ok have no comment on what you said but eishhh why do you want me to make him the first person to sleep with well i would love to do that with someone who marries me,,, i dont get you i had accepted that he has kids its not like i had a problem with it but he sees no reason for me getting used them i actually saw them by incident because it happened that we were at the same place by coincidence and that is when he had his sons otherwise he always gave excuses for me not seeing them. Ok fine i accept that his busy then what no time for us to get to know each other, go for days without talking to each other. maybe am forcing things yes maybe we are not meant to be together. even if we talk it would be hie and thats that. yaaa silly me forcing things to work.

@ saab yu had all negative about me towards the "widower", on contrary @ rodger noted that something was just so wrong .... now guess what the men was lying i finally saw the wife shes alive i wonder what he was up to maybe making me a second wife or using me bt why the hell would someone would lie that the wife died i mean who does that to an extent eishhh cant evn explain men are dogs and good liars guess in short thats what i can say. But i was strongly hurt