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Mon 12 Jun, 2017 11:52 am
I met this guy online. I originally said I wanted a grade above a friends with benefits. We met. The conversation was great. Nothing inappropriate. Parted ways with a non-platonic but still appropriate hug. He texted after we parted ways to say he enjoyed meeting me. With the conversation (nothing preumptious or forward - just good, genuine conversation), all we have in common, and how considerate he is with his texts, I kind of like him in a way I didn't expect to, and I wouldn't mind possibly exploring more than I originally said I wanted.
The day after we met, he asked about going a step further (he didn't necessarily say he wanted to have sex), but I kind of got alarmed and told him I wasn't ready to move that fast. He said that was okay. We both expressed that we wanted to see each other again. He has always intiated contact and continued to after his attempt to go further (without any other remotely sexual inuendoes), but I am concerned because he never calls, and his texts are all surface level (things like "Good morning" and "I hope your day was well.") Also, it's been a week and a half since we met and he has not arranged another date (I must admit that I haven't been free and won't be again until this weekend, and he knows my schedule) . This coming weekend will be my first weekend free again since we last went out, and he has time to arrange another date. I'd be concerned if he didn't ask me out this weekend. I can't tell if he's taking his time because I said something when he asked about going a step further or if he is only mildly interested (I asked without prying if he was still interested, and he says he is). I don't feel he's interested enough, but I may just be anxious (it's been barely 2 weeks since 1st contact, even less since we actually met). But regardless of whether this is going toward FWB or more,I do want him to step it up.
What should I do? Should I:
A) Continue this boring text game through this week and see if he steps up the conversation and arranges another date?
B) Ignore him until he comes with some more substantial text messages and asks for another date? (And address the phone calls later)
C) Tell him what I'm thinking (as far as the phone calls, dates, etc)? Not sure about mentioning exploring more; we haven't even gotten to a 2nd date so why would I?
Advice please, guys!!!
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:I do want him to step it up.
Why don't you step it up?
@ehBeth,
and by that ^ I mean - why haven't you asked him out?
@ehBeth,
Not to be funny, but I wanted guys to respond because women don't know what men are thinking.
I won't ask him out because I have learned that if a man wants you, he will do what it takes to get you. Asking him out is doing his job for him, and all these women chasing men is why we have so many people half @$$ing the dating process as it is. He has an obligation to pursue and show me his interest - not the other way around. My goal is to gauge his interest and move on if it's not what it needs to be - not "pull" him into giving me what I think I want.
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:He has an obligation to pursue and show me his interest
what is this ? 1820?
even my grandmother didn't think like that in the 1920's. she asked my grandfather out. my mother asked my father out in the 1950's. etc etc etc
so bizarre to see such a backward way of thinking
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:Asking him out is doing his job for him
that is such bullshit
__
I kind of wish I knew this guy so I could warn him off you.
@ehBeth,
No, it's 2017, and last I checked, the men were still doing the proposing and the women were still taking their last names. It may have worked for your grandmother, but I'm not asking a guy out when he has my number and knows I'm interested.
@ehBeth,
Lord, Beth, will you go away? We don't agree (and that's allowed). Find another post, please!
@Shes-Amazing,
You said yourself the text game is boring. He has no way of knowing that unless you either tell him (which he's probably not going to be too happy to hear) or you ask him out.
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:Lord, Beth, will you go away?
I think you should go away, Miss Shes-Amazingly Stupid. I think you have answered your own question in the posts you have put up here. The guy saw what kind of ideas you have about men and women, and decided he didn't like them. Also if you are as aggressive and unpleasant in everyday life as you are on here, he probably decided to dodge a bullet. I agree 100% with EhBeth. As a guy, I've met a bunch of girls like you, and I run a mile from their mind games.
@jespah,
Thanks. I may mention the conversation (it's possible to not know what to say to someone you don't know) and make it more interesting myself.
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:
Not to be funny, but I wanted guys to respond because women don't know what men are thinking.
They always seem to know what I'm thinking.
@Shes-Amazing,
It is 2017 and I figure even the US has different cultures about who suggests going out for coffee or a drink, even within cities. I've no chart where to see stats on everywhere else.
News - sometimes men and women and trans folks can be friends, just because they are interesting people.
@roger,
Lol and are you always thinking about sex?
@Shes-Amazing,
Shes-Amazing wrote:
Not to be funny, but I wanted guys to respond because women don't know what men are thinking.
I'm a guy, and ehBeth is right.
@nimh,
So you mean to tell me that, as a man, you would not step it up on your own with a woman in whom you're interested? May I ask why that is?
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