Pharmacist recommended that I be responsible for wife's prescriptions

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Our pharmacist and myself both feel that my wife may be on a bad path with her prescription medications. Her previous doctor cut her off from the opioid pain meds because of prescription abuse so now she's turned to antidepressants. I discovered, thanks to our pharmacist, that two antidepressant prescriptions came from another doctor than her regular doctor (just a regular family doctor, not a specialist). She also just recently changed to this new pharmacy after our old one started checking and calling to verify her prescriptions. Added to that I found two other prescription medications that she doesn't have prescriptions for and later discovered she had bought them from a "friend" (a girl she knows that has access to a variety of meds).

We have talked about all this without much success as she either denies everything until presented with hard proof, shuts down and cries, or deflects/projects back on to me about how all this isn't helping her depression and this is why she just wants to end it. She claims to be in group therapy and have a psychiatrist but I haven't seen any actual physical evidence of either and when I tried to insist on going with her she said she was just going to quit all of it and then "we'll see what happens".

We do have a child at home and all this is really effecting him. At this point I am mostly just concerned with her physical safety and I have concerns that she may be taking way too much or selling it off.

Help?

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@tibbleinparadise,

Also need to add that her pharmacist refused to fill one prescription yesterday because of the danger of interactions between it and another one he's already filled.

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@tibbleinparadise,

First off, I am so sorry this is happening.

Second, I think your pharmacist is a gem.

Okay - a few ideas. Don't know how amenable you are to some or all or any of them, but these are my first thoughts:

Cut her off from her 'friend' who is selling her drugs.
This might include calling the cops and getting the 'friend' arrested.
Get in contact with your wife's new doctor, or see if your wife's old doctor can (I don't know; it might be a HIPAA issue for them to do this), and at least push the new doctor to stop prescribing new meds. If nothing else, the argument against drug interactions should be enough (at least for an ethical doctor).
If the new doctor goes ahead and prescribes anyway, then call the medical board in your area (state, city, country), because overprescribing is a way for a doctor to lose their license - and if the new doctor is not listening to information about possible overprescribing, then they really should be hauled in front of the board. And maybe the new doctor is innocent (that's not impossible). But at least this will be known to more people.
Therapy - if she is lying and deflecting about therapy, then make an appointment for yourself and bring her along when the therapist says that's okay. After all, you are also hurting in all of this, so therapy would be a good idea for you, even if your wife never goes.
Therapy, also, for your child. I don't know how old he or she is so maybe a school psychologist or the pediatrician is a place to get a referral.
While I understand you are concerned for your wife's safety, I think you will have to become even more concerned for your child's. If your wife is driving while impaired then it will be a lot like drunk driving in terms of effects and results - and an arrest if she is caught.
An arrest isn't necessarily the worst thing that could ever happen to her, BTW. Sometimes that sort of intervention is what finally gets through to alcoholics and addicts.
Talk to your own physician about rehab facilities in the area. Contact your insurance carrier or the HR person at your job and find out just what and how much they will cover (e. g. inpatient vs. outpatient, number of days, deductibles, drug types, everything). Of course this is not a time to economize, but it would be nice if treatment didn't bankrupt you.
Be prepared, particularly if your child is very young, to take time from work to help care for him or her, particularly if your wife has to go for inpatient treatment. The HR person is your best resource for this. Find out what kind of family leave provisions exist in your benefits package.
Line up friends, family, or neighbors for alternate coverage for childcare for any days when you cannot do it, and also to get the occasional break and give a break to your child. Summer is just about here and, if your child is old enough, this could be an outstanding time to send him or her to summer camp or at least day camp.

And hang in there as well as you can - and feel free to rant here. Opioid addiction is becoming a huge problem in the United States and you are far from alone.

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@jespah,

Thanks so much for your response and ideas.

I met with a narcotics detective last week and gave him everything I knew on her contacts she has to get meds. I told my wife about this which caused a huge blow up of an argument because I was being a "narc". I did not and will not apologise and made it clear that her name and her friends name were on the radar.

I spoke with her doctor's nurse this morning for a bit and outlined what I had discovered and my concerns. They didn't seem to know about the other prescriptions but will now do a full check on her prescription history before writing any new meds or authorizating any refills.

I do need professional help with this as it's a lot to handle.

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@tibbleinparadise,

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

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@tibbleinparadise,

Sigh. You're doing the right thing.

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@jespah,

Thanks to the both of you. I wrote out an intervention style letter and sat down with her last night. It was poorly received, all of it's my fault, etc. Today she left the house with "so if I'm gone tonight I get my meds back?".

I did reach out to a counselor for myself and son. They are a non-profit and work on a sliding scale for payment. I am usually a DIY kinda guy, but this is all way over my head.

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@tibbleinparadise,

aw geez
so sorry to read this
trying to deal with addictions/opoid abuse in the family is so hard

sounds like the pharmacist and previous gp were really on the ball
I hope you and your son are able to get good support through the counsellor. Nar-Anon Family groups can be very helpful in some cases.

Many years ago I was able to help get an extended family member into a treatment program that was very good. It's been about 20 years now and W has stayed clean. Not to say he wasn't tempted and wasn't grumpy and difficult at times, but he's managed to work through things (he has stayed in counselling and AA type groups to help him). It's a tough road for everyone.

I wish all of you the very best in getting through this.

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@ehBeth,

To support this - here's a link to Nar-Anon meeting info:
http://www.nar-anon.org/find-a-meeting/

I don't know if that's just the US or what, but it's a start.

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@tibbleinparadise,

How are you all doing?

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@ehBeth,

Managing, if that's a good word for it.

I moved all the meds out of the house and just have the day's dose available. That has caused some issues, but I'm standing firm. With the frequency of her asking "how much longer", I'm almost more concerned that she was getting the extraneous prescriptions to sell (I know she's been short on $$$ because of a recent garnishment she isn't telling me about).

She IS going to therapy, I made her take me along to an appointment. I didn't insist on sitting in on it, but she invited me to so I did. Some of the late night out behavior has creeped back in which is bothersome. I often feel like a single dad with a troubled teen that loves to stay out late.

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