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Fri 19 May, 2017 07:02 am
So I've been texting with this guy for about 4 weeks and we've been on two dates. On the last date though, he really wanted me to stay over at his place, and thruthfully I wanted that too, but I had to go up early next day, so I couldn't. Then he asked me if I wanted to come over next week and stay at his place and I said yes, cause I like this guy and I don't mind having sex with him already.
When I got back home I got to think about it, and I felt a little like our date next week sounded like just a hook-up. I really like this guy too, he's super fun and interesting, so I also want to get to know him. So I texted him saying I really wanted to see him next week and I also really wanted to stay over, but that I felt our date next week sounded more like a hook up and I really wanted to get to know him too. He texted back, saying he wasn't sure what I wanted then. I said that I was just not interested if it was just a hook up. He replied that he completely understood that but that he of course couldn't tell how things between us would end. I then realized that I might have made a mistake sending that text, cause I didn't want to scare him off or in anyway promise me something, just wanted him to know that I actually find him very interesting and wanted to spend time with him etc etc. So I texted him saying sorry and explaining that I wasn't in any way trying to make him promise anything and that I just would like to get to know him. He replied that he felt the same way.
What can I do now to make sure I send the right signals to him and don't scare him of? How do I fix this mistake. As it is now we still have our date next week and I want to sleep with him, but I don't know how to make sure it want become just a hook up or make sure that it want be awkward after my text to him?
@badassgirl,
If being honest with him about sex scares him off, then this is probably a nascent relationship you should be rethinking.
@badassgirl,
badassgirl wrote:What can I do now to make sure I send the right signals to him and don't scare him of? How do I fix this mistake.
You did send the "right" signal to him, if by "right signal" we mean an accurate summary of your actual feelings. If he is scared off by that, then surely that is the best thing?
what I mean by sending the wrong signal is that I might have made him feel like he had to promise me something and that for sure wasn't my intention.
@badassgirl,
If you are going out on a date and then spending the night, that's the exact opposite of a hookup. Hooking up is texting this guy, "Hey, I'm free Saturday around 4, your place or mine?" I think what he was afraid of promising is a great evening out, followed by sex, followed by an awesome relationship.
@tibbleinparadise,
Makes sense. But yes, I know, my question is what I can do now to show or tell him that he doesn't have to promise a relationship and that I'm not expecting anything like that from him? I want to make him relaxed around me and feel like he's free to go anytime he wants.
Call him and tell him what you want. I can't tell from your posts, and suspect your texts are at least as confusing. Sort out what you want - then call him to tell him.
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