Relationship Advice

Compromise.

If people waited until they were completely financially stable before they did everything, they wouldn't do much. That doesn't mean that planning and being prudent are bad things - they aren't! But you may be hesitating a bit too long.

So talk about the end of 2018 with him (and with your fiancée, of course). That is about 18 months from now.

In the meantime, be very frugal and keep as much of your money as you can. That means everything from bringing lunch to work to getting an extra few months' wearing out of a pair of shoes. You don't have to dress in rags but just try to be as good as you can be about saving money.

And go into your marriage with optimism. I would also suggest, when you have that conversation with your future father-in-law, maybe ask him about what things will be like if you need help financially. Will he help out? If he will, then great. If he says he won't, then I would say, stick to the timetable that is most comfortable for you.

Thank you Jespah for giving me such a great advice. I am from India and here things are little different, i am trying my level best but things are getting worse day by day they are giving more pressure to her for getting married and with this salary i wont think i would be able to manage things after marriage or may be i am thinking more about future than living in present. I am confused right now how to make him understand my point of view.

Does your girlfriend work? will her salary help with the situation?

No she is not working right now, she is at her home preparing for exams. I have recently joined my job in 2016. No chance of savings as i am far from my native place due to job and i have to manage rent and food by my own.

Can you get a roommate to share costs with?

yes i am sharing my rent with my friends right now.

Hmm - maybe talk to your own parents about this (assuming they are still in the picture). You want to do the right thing, but it's also got to be something you can actually do.

Are you under pressure to provide living space for parents? Perhaps this is why the father wants to rush things.

Or he thinks you will change your mind about marrying his daughter.

What does the girl want to do?

I dont know but i want to marry her and my family is very happy from her, but how to convince her father that i will marry her but i need timw to get settled, i want growth in salary so i can fulfill her needs after marriage, i want a way to convince him

Your girlfriend/fiance knows her father better than you do.

What does she think will help her father understand the situation?

She knows everything very well, but she can't help she respects her father view even she knows its not right, she dont want to argue with him because after all things he has agreed for marriage and its intercast marriage so a big no for argument with father.