Do sex-tapes = trust?

Forums: Sextapes, Sexual Relationships, Sex, Relationships
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Hi! I've been dating this great guy. I'm a girl, I'm turning 19 and he's older than me. We get along a lot. And he always wants me to try new things sexually. Sometimes I say and sometimes I say no.

So the last time I saw him I was giving him oral and I saw him starting to videotape me. So I immediately said "what are you doing? don't film me"
And he answered "relax it's your phone". So when I realized that it was my phone I figured that I'll delete it later.

On the video we only see me giving him oral. He's not talking or anything. Nothing that would make him recognizable. But we see my face clearly recognizable .

So here's the problem:
Later that day he texted me asking to send him the video. And I said no. I told him because I deleted it and because I didn't want him to film me in the first place and I only let him do it cause it was my phone.
And from this he thinks that I don't trust him.

Is he right? Because I think that I do trust him.

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@Modesyn,

Don't trust someone who tapes you without asking your permission first.

He is smart to realize that what he did makes him someone not to trust.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Thanks for your reply and advice

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@Modesyn,

You're only 19, you don't know how things will pan out, you're still in the honeymoon phase. He did not ask your permission to tape you, but he did it anyway. If you had sent him that tape, there's no telling what he might do with it. Be careful, and be honest, tell him there are red lines you won't cross. If he is decent, and this was a mistake in the heat of the moment, he'll accept that. If he does anything like this again you need to get away.

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@Modesyn,

You need to draw the line on this. If you send him the video and you two break up, (or even if you stay together) there is nothing stopping him from sharing this with his buddies or even worse, putting it out on the internet.

Do you really want to take a chance that friends, family, or some future guy you meet will be able to go online and see the video of you giving head to someone?

As said by a previous poster, make it clear that this is a line you will not cross. If he keeps bugging you about it, then maybe you need to rethink this relationship.

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@Modesyn,

Good trust usually requires a bunch load of time and still is no guarantee you know the person your living with. Yes, trust is required to go on tapping intimacy, but the all idea is bad anyway. Don't be afraid of letting him know that one is off limits. Be blunt if you have to.

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So I talked to him and explained him that he should have asked me before doing it or at least talked about it and he said that I'm his gf so he doesn't have to ask me for this sort of things. Which makes me realize that we're definitely not going to work out

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@Modesyn,

Well done, it's better to know something like that now.

0 Replies

@Modesyn,

Yes, he thinks you will stand for his transparent attempts at control ('cause he's manipulator and he's older?). You just proved him wrong. As they say down-under, "Good on 'ya!"

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Yeah he likes controlling most of the things. I'm just glad that i realized this now before falling for him

1 Reply

@Modesyn,

To be honest, I think he is normal.

0 Replies

@Modesyn,

Modesyn wrote:

And from this he thinks that I don't trust him.

Is he right? Because I think that I do trust him.

1. You should not trust him. 2. You "think" you trust him? So you posted on here to make sure? 3. He could shoot a video on your phone and then share it on the web or to another phone and you would not know. 4. Why do you think he wants a video of something that should be private between you two?

You don't need to listen to us, just listen to yourself. This guy is a CREEP. Dump him. Put a PIN on your phone and don't tell people (especially guys) what it is.

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@Modesyn,

Modesyn wrote:

he said that I'm his gf so he doesn't have to ask me for this sort of things

Wow! He thinks he owns you? Get out NOW. Warn all the girls you know that he might hit on.

Modesyn wrote:

. Which makes me realize that we're definitely not going to work out

Yup. Absolutely. Watch out for him getting nasty.

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Do sex-tapes = trust?

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