Should I trust her?

I am going to operate under the assumption that this is a lesbian relationship. Note: this is not strictly a gay forum so most people would not know WTF was going on without an assumption such as this.

Questions for you:

You say you have been together for a year and a half. Did she cheat during your relationship, or just before it? Because if it was just before, and not during your relationship, I would say that the Statute of Limitations has passed on this being a big issue.

Yes, this is an ex, and it's a jealous ex. But does your girlfriend show any inclination toward wanting to be with this ex?

You say things haven't been great between you and your girlfriend. That's a different issue, okay? Perhaps counseling would help you both to get to the root of your issues.

Your pronouns are a little hard to follow here. I am going to assume another thing, that your girlfriend has offered for her ex to stay at your (you and your girlfriend's) house. Is that correct? Then it is your home, for gosh sake's. If you can't trust your girlfriend to be faithful under the roof she shares with you, then it's all over but the shouting.

BTW, flirting while drunk? Hell, I am the biggest flirt I know and I have been married for almost a quarter of a century. I flirt drunk or sober; it's immaterial to me. I also don't act on any of it. Flirting is not the issue.

What "problem" does this girl have about your relationship with your GF?

Your GF needs to set the boundaries about what the "catch-up" is going to be. She needs to let this gal know that she is not available for anything except a friendship, since you two are an item now - and that means exclusive.

(I think there are issues between you two and this outside person is bringing them out in the open. Good time to get everything straight now. )

Thanks for your reply.

Firstly, regarding the gay bit. As a heterosexual person wouldn't need to state that they are heterosexual I hadn't realised I needed to state I was in a gay relationship. For me it is normal plus I hadn't realised this forum was only for heterosexuals as I'm new to it.

Secondly just to clarify, no we don't live together. Also she has cheated in every relationship she has had hence my concerns.

Thirdly regarding the flirting - I was present and after assuring me she was just having fun chatting and dancing she asked for a phone number, asked the girl to kiss her and then proceeded to sneak off to an upstairs bar in the pretence she was going to the toilet - I found her upstairs half an hour later with the same girl. To me that's not acceptable behaviour but for her it was innocent fun.

The reason I mentioned the "not great between us" is that has been her reason for cheating in each long term relationship she has had.

Does your advice still stand with the extra info?

This forum is not only for heterosexuals. Please don't add a condition that wasn't there, thanks.

Be that as it may, she's unreliable at best. And you're right; that's not flirting or at least it probably isn't. It certainly seems a lot more than that. As for the 'things aren't so great' bullshit, well, why would you accept that?

Frankly, I don't know why you accept someone who is so untrustworthy.

Why stay?

You made the comment that it is "not strictly a gay forum" and I never indicated I thought it was and nor do I think I need to state whether is a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. It shouldn't matter to the advice. It was the issue at hand I wanted advice with regardless of the sexual orientation of the person.

That said, thanks for your advice.