help

I am taking you are both guys. So he's in denial about being bi or gay. He wouldn't be the first guy on the planet to be in denial.

How about having a conversation? You know, something like, "Well, you've got to remember us getting into bed together. You could have slept somewhere else. You chose this bed. So, what's going on?"

And see what happens. He might see that as overly confrontational and clam up, which is no different from what's going on right now. He might be pleased you noticed and interested in a relationship but was unsure of how to broach the subject. Or maybe he's confused, or, like I said, in denial.

I take it you are both underage, so tread lightly. Sex with a minor is still sex with a minor, regardless of whether the parties are the same or different genders. If you are both of age, then still tread somewhat lightly. This may be a new concept for him.

yes we are both guys, I've not felt this way about another guy before nor would I even think about sharing a bed with another guy. I've thought about having the conversation with him before but im scared to lose him completley. we are both over the age and in our 20's.

we also have the same group of friends which i think makes things abit harder. there are times where I think he definite wants the same thing and then sometimes he talks about girls and always brings up past experiences which ive heard 10000 times.

neither of us have had any kind of relationship with anybody for 3+ years which again makes me think that there is something between us. we get on really well, we have only known each other 8 months or so and it feels like we have known each other for ever.

Then I think you've got to lay your cards on the table. And that's risky and it might not work out the way you want it to. But right now, you're in limbo. And that's rather unfair to you.

At the very least, when he claims to not remember this or that, if I were you (and I'm a het woman, so take this FWIW), I would at minimum express concern. Drinking to blacking out and not remembering is rather dangerous. Of course you know, I know, the lamppost knows, and the American people know, that he's just clumsily trying to cover up what happened. And the out it gives him is not so wonderful. If he admits to drinking to excess then your concerns are justified and then if you suggest he get treatment, he'll balk. If he doesn't admit to drinking to excess, then he's left with two options: either he admits he got into bed with you or he claims some other memory problem.

Somehow, the truth will out (no pun intended).

Do you like in an area (or have a group of friends) where coming out would be dangerous or hurt his career/family/etc? If so, then I would respect that. But if you're in a major western city (New York, Toronto, Paris, etc) then coming out is still a big deal, but it's not career-ending or life-threatening like it would be in Basra.

all he says in the morning is "i dont remember anything" but then over the next hour he say' s things that happened the night before for example " i fell over on the way home", "it took us a while to get home last night". which makes me think the he obviously remembers atleast the majority of the night.

He might drink to excess on the night but no more than what i have and he only drinks on weekends but not necessary every weekend. it's not like he can forget getting into bed as he wakes up in bed next to me, but nothing is said about the situation. And there is no way that he doesnt wake up when we are cuddled up. if he did wake up and move away id understand but he doesnt. and persists to share a bed with me.

We live in England, so its not like anybody would even care what we did with our lives. our friends are understanding people infact my oldest friend is gay, who is also friends with him. i believe that he feels he has to keep up an image but then again is that just me that thinks that.

you're right, this isnt fair on me at all, and it's really starting to do my head in. He told one of our friends that he thinks im gay, as i was told. we had abit of an argument as i dont like people talking about me but we made up and that next day, suprise suprise i wake up with him.

I appreciate your time and feel better talking to someone about it

Oy. I am sorry. He's got every reason to come clean with you, yet he doesn't. Feh.

Maybe stop getting into situations where you can end up in bed together. Because it messes with your head and it would be best if you at least could step away from this to preserve your own heart.