I have a problem. In my early thirties. I haven't had luck in the love/relationship department so far.
I can say I do get past the initial barriers fast and easily(phone number, first one/two hang outs).
This has happened on many occassions. But probably I get friendzoned or ignored later.
This has happened so many times now that I doubt I'm doing something seriously wrong somewhere.
I wouldn't say I am hugely attractive a guy. Looks are average to a nudge above average. Only a nudge. (5.5 to 6 out of 10 IMHO)
Not short on confidence I'd assume. Yes I feel too intimidated if I were to go ask a 9 or a 10
(10 don't exist for economy class frequent flyers which most of us are because if there were a 10 in our
strata, she would move to the upper deck first class eventually ). But asking a 8 or a 7/6/5 is no problem.
And I get occassional ayes too.
What am I doing wrong in the first one or two dates that things don't go beyond?
FYI I am from India. I've never really dated in India. My dating skills were zero whilst I was there.
When I moved to Europe I decided to challenge myself with this new skill and I think I learnt a bit of it
soon. But I'm not the kind of guy who would rush to kiss or show any signal of lust in first one or two dates.
Not to tell you that I don't have lust. I'm a guy and no different to guys anywhere in the world. I am looking
for a stable relationship with the person I get attracted to and 'get attracted to' part happens many times!
In India, I don't think getting physical happens even with highly skilled players. Platonic courtship
does go for first few dates. Someone told me in Europe it goes fast. I don't think so.
Europe or India, throwing myself to a stranger to kiss her or excuse me, touch her, in the first or second date
would be transgression of her personal space and would be equal to disrespecting her. And I absolutely
don't want to disrespect any girl who by the way is a stranger on the first/second date.
So all I do is be myself, try to have a healthy conversation, be a gentleman and go back to apartment, of course
alone
I would be grateful to anyone who wants to share some pearls of wisdom here.
It's a question of some training which I didn't receive growing up in a small town of India because dating
didn't (and mostly doesn't) exist there. Looking forward to learn and improve my game.