Where and How can I find a worthy and right guy in real life and not online dating?

Consiser looking around.

Usually, when you are looking for something you don't find it right away. Enjoy life, keep an open mind; and when you stop looking in so narrowly, then what you are looking for may fall in your lap.

There is a little bit of destiny about it. At the right time it will happen. Perhaps you should expand your realm of dating. There are lots of great guys in every shape, size, and color. In hopes of finding the one for you (your dream guy), date responsibly and be patient until destiny brings you both together. -stay blessed!!

-J

Figure out your least requirements. Then lower your standards to those requirements.

Figure out smoking/drinking/sex habits you want to have. There are a lot of guys that don't smoke, don't drink and like sex. There are also lots of guys that smoke, drink and don't like sex. Whatever your minimum qualifications are, figure them out.

Then go back to online dating and when communicating with a potential suitor, ask those questions. If they do not at least fulfill your minimum requirements, pass on them.

Fish where the right fish are.

Want to marry a doctor? Then investigate going to medical conferences.

Want to marry a lawyer? Then go to public political hearings or to local Bar Association meetings.

Want to marry an engineer? Then try local safety meetings.

Want to marry a writer? Then try local writing groups.

And fishing where the right fish are also means online, because nearly everyone in the wealthier nations is. So polish your pitch. That means a good profile image; it means a positive profile; it means making your intentions ultra clear, too. And you might not get a lot of dates that way, but they will be more worthwhile, yes?

Carry a flag with you every where you go that says, "right guy?".

Replying to myself - I'll add that at least in the US, but probably many other places, there is an online community called Meet Up. People sign up to participate in walks or tours or visits to places that interest them. It's basically to meet other people who are interested in similar things as you are, and people may become friends and/or possibly end up dating.

That is a very sensibel suggestion.
It is much better to find friends with the same interestes as you and maybe find the right one.
To let your life revolve around finding Mr Right is not a good idea.

I have tried meetup.com but I have been going to the girl groups mostly.
And I have been chatting with some people and all but I am not friends yet with anyone.. I'm afraid if I go to a co-ed group it will be the same thing..
I only see these people once a while and not every meetup.. What should I do?

If you mean "enjoy life" as with friends, well what if you don't have any friends?

Looking around where in specifically?

A lot of people these days don't have friends; just acquaintances.
You definitely have to put yourself out there to be seen. Social sites, like MySpace, Facebook, and some others previously mentioned.

It depends on what you are looking for, but when you know you have the right person you know. As funny as it may seem, but when you get tired of looking that is when the one pops up. When you aren't looking! Perhaps get involved in the community, volunteer, go enjoy life. If you are dating someone and they aren't right for you, move on and learn from that experience. When the time comes to settle you will know. The time will be right for both of you and your partner.

Definitely think of your relationship like a business. Can you see it lasting? How do you complement each other? Don't sell yourself short and make trade-offs that you are going to regret. If attraction is a plus to you, ask yourself how attractive the person has to be, to keep you interested. But don't choose things that can be taken away easily such as occupation; that may change (fires, quit, new interests).

-Stay blessed!


-J

But I hear from people saying they have friends here and there.. And why can't I..you know? It feels like I am the only one who doesn't. I have Facebook..but as I said I don't to stay away from looking in social media.. How can one put yourself out there though other than online? Not community or volunteer I ain't that type of person..

This is a lot like your other post where you want to make friends in real places and not online. You'll just have to go to actual places and events and either talk to people or respond positively when someone speaks to you. In real life you can't set filters and do a search by set criteria. You'll have to do it by trial and error. Have a conversation with a guy. Maybe have several over the course of a couple of weeks. You'll know if you like him and if he likes you. If he is "The One" you'll find that out over time as well. People have been meeting each other and becoming friends and lovers for a very, very long time. It's only very recently that we've tried to streamline the process with the help of machines. Just be social, friendly and available. Friends and lovers will happen naturally.

I think you are mistaken, this is my only post that I have up..
What do you mean by trial an error?
I don't know if you are a guy or a girl.. but in my experiences, it is usually very hard to know if the other person really likes you or not..alotta times they pretend, lead on or lie..

What does your love look like?

The person I fell in love with, I dreamt about, when I was 14. I did not get to meet that person until I was about 22. I realized it when the scenario in my dream played out in real-life and their description fit exactly. They were in a different state 1100 miles from my home town. It was through the military that I discovered this person. I was in Active Duty, they were not in the military.

I thought I was in love 2 other times prior. The first time was when I was 16 (it was infatuation), second when I was 17 (it was just the thought of love). The second relationship lasted for 5 years. We were engaged, but when I joined the military the person showed their true colors, and we fell apart. Truthfully, I forced those relationships to happen.

My previous experiences, woke me up thou. I started dating more rapidly, and realizing what I wanted. After dating, I realized what I wanted in a partner; when they were right in front of me I knew. My dream person came to me. They too had played the process of elimination; with a few partners I might add. But hey, when we came to meet, I was speechless. We were equally affectionate towards each other & equally attracted to another. I was actually talking to two others but I cut them off. I have been with the person of my dreams, ever since.

In closing, don't make trade-offs and don't force relationships to work. Maybe follow your dreams and you will meet the one on the journey. Most people fall "in-love" 2 or 3 times before they find the one. Be patient with yourself, stay true to your wants and needs, and hopefully you will come to find the person made for you.

Except it's not. https://able2know.org/topic/376526-1 (your profile tells the tale)

But hey, whatevz.

As I said before - fish where the fish are. Going to women's groups is not going to help you to meet men. And tarring every group with the exact same brush is just an excuse for not trying. Hey, you said you wanted to meet people. You have been given options on both this and your other thread. It's up to them to use them, or not.

Breaking the ice is not easy but it is worthwhile. Do not expect you are going to get into deep conversations about love and life with people when you first meet them. It'll start off as trivial small talk. So have fun with it. The world does not have to be so damned serious all the time.

The first few times you do this, it will feel incredibly awkward, yes. That is your subconscious trying to tell you to stay put and keep up with the status quo ante.

Don't listen to it.

Well if you want to know and you are asking..I have a physical type of what I want my guy to have and look like.. I don't care if he is rich or not or a lawyer or a doctor and so on..But he has to have the whole package if you know what I mean.I ain't that picky.
May I ask are you a guy or a girl? I am asking cause if you are a girl might know better how it feels like for a girl in this situation..
But That sounds quite a situation..
Well to tell ya as I have been brought up as love comes once in a lifetime it was believed. But I don't know anymore, if you ask me.
Thank you for your encouragement for not to give up my finding on my dreamy type of guy. But sometimes waiting it will never happen. You see ever since I was early 20s, even though I was in several relationships at the time, they weren't the right ones and all I hoped to find my type of guy and all but nothing.. I feel like I am doing something wrong or just not trying too hard?

You didn't answer my question btw How can one put yourself out there though other than online?