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Fri 29 Oct, 2004 06:59 am
Last night while I was bouncing around the various threads on A2K I happened upon one where Stand up for Pessimism was flirting with panzade. Panzade wasn't there at the time, only Pess. But she was calling Pan's name and waiting for him to show.
I thought I should intervene. I told her that Pan was a gnarled old man whose job it was to climb the steps every day and ring the bell. Slowly it began to dawn on Pess that perhaps Pan wasn't the man for her.
We talked. About life in general, the weather, stuff like that. Somehow in the conversation the fact that I was a surfer in my youth emerged. Pess seemed quite impressed and wanted me to talk about it. I told her a few surfer stories, but my humility caused me to leave out the great ride of '28. I feel I am ready to talk about it now. I would hate to see the story lost in time. I really believe people should know of Gus the surfer. He was once a champion.
It was the biggest surfer tournament of the summer. All the big boys were there, Louie the Blade, Surftown Jack, Bennie the Wave, and, of course, the favorite, Big Tim.
At the appropriate signal we all entered the water and began to paddle out. It was an angry sea, thunderous waves crashed against us as we worked our way to the starting point. Bennie was first to go. He grabbed a nice looking wave and began his ride. It was a helluva ride, but I knew I could do better. One by one they left until only me and Big Tim remained.
And then we saw it. The perfect wave approached. A giant swirling black mass with a beautiful white plume on top. We both grabbed the wave and took off. I'm not sure what happened, but Big Tim was thrown immediately. I had never seen that happen before. Now it was only me and the monster wave. I knew a good ride would give me the championship. I was carried along, balancing precariously on my beloved surfboard, "Big Woody". As I approached the beach I could see all the spectators excitedly waving and shouting at me. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying -- the roaring sea pounded my eardrums. But then a voice broke through. And another. I could hear the chant... "Hang ten, Gus! Hang ten!"
They were my fans, and as puzzled as I was by their request, I complied.
When I hit the beach I was immediately arrested for indecent exposure.
A tragic end to a beautiful day.
But, I met someone in jail that day. A parent of a current A2K member.
I'll tell you that story at another time.
PS , I just laid out 20 that kicky could whup your ass.
What the hell is this? Gang up on Gus Day?
Good friggin' grief.
Gawd it's nice to have Farmerman back on the insult threads...
Never thought you needed help with that, silversurfer!
of course you all know that Gus is delusional too.
Travis, I'm the guy with the Lopez thunderbolt 6'8 board in the garage...The closest Gus ever got to surf was when he launched the Internet Explorer browser.
These days, of course, it is much harder for Gus to keep up with his favorite sport. You do have to improvise when you live on a farm. Nevertheless, he is still showing his championship form.....
Gus traded in his woodie for a real surf-mobile...wave to the hodads Gus
Gus, I have a story for you. My son, who is homeschooled, is participating in the Jason project, a study of the coastal wetlands primarily around New Orleans. One part of the study focuses on Capybara, i.e. Nutria, and their effect on the wetlands. Some people on the bayou raise them as a food source, so one parent decided to try and contact one of the farmers, and order some Nutria to cook and serve at one of the home schooling events.
After considerable effort, he contacted a grower who spoke with a heavy cajun accent. They could barely understand each other, but at long last, the order was placed, with the product to be shipped to California.
The guy waited, and waited. Nothing came. He contacted the farmer who insured him the order had shipped.
About a month later, he gets a call from a USPS inspector who informed him the leaking shipment had been seized in Oakland and held under the Patriot Act as a suspicious package.
Dude, you really have to work on your packaging skills.
True story BTW.
Re: When I was a surfer.
Gustasetyoustraight
The fans weren't yelling "Hang ten" they yelled "Hung like a tent" hence the arrest. I heard your quite a showman.
Who did you meet in jail?
Great story Gus. I enjoyed it immensely. And for the record, we will never know who would win in a fight between you and I, for I could never fight a man of sophistication, style, and a ten-inch penis, such as yourself.
Kicky
You have made a "big" decision, I'm proud of you.
So am I, kicky. Especially since you could've taken him easily. No sense picking on an old man, though. Where's the sport in that?
now thhey have to shut Gus's door on visitor day so the kids arent scared.
Gus and his friends right before the arrest-
This old and rare photo was found in the Smithsonian...it depicts an old man as the big kahuna. When he wasn't surfing, he was a headliner for Barnum Bailey circus. His famous trapeze act included the 12 dancing capybaras.
could it be...was this you in your youth, Gus?
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