Am I in the wrong and should I try and get him back?

I moved in with a guy, well I moved in with his best friend (a girl) who I knew from work, it was just us 3 in the house, I didn't really know either of them, and was quite an anxious person. Me and this guy hit it off and eventually started to have a sexual relationship. It was quite hard, getting to know someone in that way who I lived with, and also being around him constantly with his best girl friend as well. We all got on but I felt anxious 24/7 and felt under pressure to act cool and impress both of them. He didn't want an official relationship and I liked him too much to be in that situation. I moved out. Had a bit of a moment, told him how much I wanted to be with him and that he must come and see me because I like him so much, he told me he didn't want that and then he blocked me on all social media - I don't condone it, but the boy's a **** bag. I'm kicking myself for not acting cool in that situation, I was with two cool people a boy and girl, and I just couldn't handle it, I overthought everything, compared myself to her as his best friend, and ended up with no contact with a guy that I really ******* liked. Am I despicable? I can't help thinking it. I've tried to speak to him and he's ignored me so I cannot speak to him again. And you may say he's not worth it. But I know he felt pressure to be with me and that's not what he wanted. When we were seeing each other, he was really into me, I could tell. I don't believe he's too good for me. I want him back. And I want confirmation that I'm not a douche What do I do?