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Is he cheating?

 
 
MDN16
 
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2017 04:08 am
My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. Recently he hasn't been working because work is slow, so he spends most of his time at home. He's really started to accuse me of cheating because I work at a job where it's mostly men! Even though I've never strayed and I never go out, I literally go to work and come straight home, he still accuses me! In the last couple of weeks, I've noticed that he doesn't want to be intimate and hes constantly angry. I feel like he isn't physically attracted to me anymore because I have gained weight. However, one night we went out, and I went home early while he stayed out and he didn't come home until 8am! Over the next couple of days I noticed that he was talking on FB messenger a lot more. Curiosity got the better of me so I peeked into his phone. He has been talking to at least 2 girls, but some of the conversations start in the middle, like previous messages had been deleted. I even saw one of these girls message him and when I went to check his phone, the message was gone. I finally brought it up to him and he claims he has never cheated, but since then, he just has this look of guilty on his face and he's being overly nice. What do I do? Is he cheating? Do I wait until I can actually prove it? HELP!!!
 
RosemaryM1955
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2017 03:36 pm
@MDN16,
Most likely he is sorry to say but I have been through a similar situation. Eventually he will start to do it more often if you show that your to okay with his behavior. You need to show him that you dont need him as much as he thinks you do so that it will make him chase you. Im telling you its all about the chase!! If you look like your to needy for him he will walk all over you!! If he plays that game you gotta play it better and I promise he will want you more because hell be so curious about why your so happy with or without him
MDN16
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 12:01 pm
@RosemaryM1955,
But I just don't understand why he would do this... We were so happy for so long, and I feel like he is the needy one because he's so clingy! He has been saying "I love you" like 5,000,000 times a day, which is actually really annoying to me. Some things I feel like I'm just over reacting and over thinking, but my gut feeling is that something is right.... I think I would be ok living my life without him, but financially I am unable to move out or live on my own. What can I do about that? Should I just go about my life living like he isn't a part of it even though we live together? I've never been in a situation like this before so I'm really lost....
RosemaryM1955
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 12:23 pm
@MDN16,
My situation was the exactly the same! I didnt understand it either and still to this day those questions have never been answered. I was financially depending on him, but you have to be able to stand alone because really you only have yourself. He was doing the exact same to me telling me he loved me alot and reassuring me that Im the only one but even though it sounds good and thats what you want to hear sometimes its all an illusion. You just need to do whats right for you. I hope this all helps! If it was all true and what he was saying is real there would be no confusion, you wouldnt have any doubts. Sometimes its even best to give some space and if he really loves you hell fight to be with you.. Just think about it..I wish you all the luck!!
MDN16
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 12:56 pm
@RosemaryM1955,
Thank you RosemaryM1955, Did you actually catch him cheating? Or did your gut just tell you that it was true? I need an outsiders opinion because I'm scared to talk to my friends and family about it because they love him and hold him highly!
RosemaryM1955
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 01:02 pm
@MDN16,
My family loved him too, like a son. But yes I did catch him several times through text messaging and he would stay out all night many times and his phone would be off all night! He would claim that it was dead but It rang and rang..I knew it was a lie..then I heard that he was seeing his X while he was with me. We were together 4 years and he was living with me and all this was going on..I finally left him and when I did he came begging back..I had all the proof I needed..I was devastated but a few months went by and I found myself again it made me realize how much I was really losing being with him...No faithful man stays out all night and texts other women and tries to cover it..If you have nothing to hide then why all the secrets?? You can always write me and talk to me about it if you have no one else I dont mind.
MDN16
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 01:33 pm
@RosemaryM1955,
Thank you, I really appreciate that
0 Replies
 
Tiger81
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 01:42 pm
@MDN16,
People cheat for all kinds of reasons, sometimes just because they are bored, just because they can, who knows why. And they cover it up by being extra nice and attentive. So, yeah sound like he's cheating.
MDN16
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 02:17 pm
@Tiger81,
And I totally get that, but I think what is hardest for me is not knowing for sure and even if I can prove it 100% what do I do about it?
0 Replies
 
 

 
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