@brokenh12,
If you go after the bestie, you risk losing your fallback position, which is really what your 'Mutual Understanding' (is that what they're calling f buddies now?) is, and only is.
Fish or cut bait - that is, you have four options here:
- Say nothing and continue in limbo. Kinda cowardly and it wastes everybody's time.
- Continue with your MU and forget about the bestie, seeing as going after the bestie will kill off probably anything with the MU, probably the friendship, etc. This respects the MU at the expense of your feelings.
- Go after the bestie and go for broke. Be prepared for the MU to ditch you, and possibly also the bestie. Bros before hos also translates into sisters before misters. If they were pals long before you came along, they might not want to so cavalierly destroy their friendship over you. Instead, they'll both kick you to the curb. Or maybe the bestie will be fine with it and you'll be happy, etc. Or
- You forget about the drama of both of them and find someone else.
Hint: #1 is a lousy choice, and #2 is not much better. #3 and #4 are risks.
PS I encourage people to take risks in their relationships, particularly when it's something like this (e. g. it's not an unprotected sex risk or the like). Go out and meet other women. This is probably never going to be as awesome as you might be thinking it will be, even if #3 goes off without a hitch. Because the bestie is probably going to want her friends at some point and, if you're the cause of the end of her friendship with MU, she might end up taking out that frustration on
you.
i found out she was flirting with somebody else
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