Relationship: Should I end it?

Forums: Heartbreak, Relationship, Love, Breaking Up
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I have been seeing someone new for almost 4 months. He has told me repeatedly that he has commitment issues or that he isn't certain about us but at the same time he has told me he wants a real relationship with me and that he really cares about me. We see one another 2X a week; sometimes for a couple of hours - sometimes several hours. The rest of the week, I get a text around 9-11 pm that says, how was your day? ok. good night.

tonight i asked him if he wanted to meet over the weekend?

he didn't

he said - i need my space i guess - he wanted time to work, visit friends and his parents

i asked him - he said he wanted to have a real relationship with me - i asked him if he still wanted that and he said yes but that i needed to give it time - he needed more time to get to know me.

as noted, he told me repeatedly that he has problems committing - i asked him if his problem (need for space and time) was just me or if he was like this with everyone - he said he was always like this

should i give him time?

also, i'm 36 and he's 50 (neither never married)

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 766 • Replies: 7

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@nazca1800,

I wouldn't end it if you enjoy his company but no way would I be exclusive with him either.

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@Tiger81,

thank you. that is part of the problem; we are exclusive. i feel so frustrated because we are officially "a couple" but it doesn't feel like it.

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What you have is not enough for you, so end this. Hes never going to change. He's giving you as much as he is willing to.

Start dating others.

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@nazca1800,

With all he said, why would you be exclusive with him? Sounds like everything is his call. dump him and move on.

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@nazca1800,

I've got a bit of a different take than the others. You've only been seeing each other for 4 months. Even with the two of you being older, that is a bit soon to be seeking some kind of commitment.

If you enjoy his company, then just go with it for now. Give him a bit more time. When you get a year into the relationship without any commitment, then you might need to rethink things.

Good luck.

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@nazca1800,

"we are exclusive" - I hate to break it to you, but usually the one that needs space is the one that still explores and not ready to settle.
So while you might give him time don't forget that you're stealing it from yourself.
I've read this article called "The Breadcrumps Tactics" and this situation looks like it. Why would he still check up on you like that? To make sure that he could jump back anytime maybe?
Didn't mean to sound so pessimistic but still recommend to think about yourself first. If it's not what you want and the other person can't or doesn't want to adjust, well... you're both wasting your time.

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@nazca1800,

It sounds like you're dating Charlie Brown. Someone that is so wishy washy and indecisive. Here's a question for you...How can he get to know you, if spends so little time with you?

You might want to consider not talking to him for while. Give him a chance to miss you for a change.

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Relationship: Should I end it?

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