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Update! Boyfriend talking to a mysterious ''female'' friend?!

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Sun 8 Jan, 2017 08:03 pm
UPDATE!! (ORIGINAL POST ON THE BOTTOM): So I asked him again nicely and he said she is just a friend that I know from long time ago and I know her family and so on,, but honestly he seemed reluctant to give me a good ol clear explanation, it just does not satisfy me , I asked’ why can she get help somewhere else in a suicide hotline or a psychiatrist and he is like” well she feels that since I am a doctor I can help her”. and then he comes with the BS that:”if I would be doing something shady I wouldn’t have told you anything about this in the first place” I’m just tired of not getting a decent explanation. I don’t understand what is the big deal with this whole thing,supposedly she does not have money to go to a psychologist or some type of help, and she remains with her husband because he has money, she cannot maintain herself and she has not finished college yet.

I At this point I don’t know if he is being truthful or not but I I really want to get to the bottom of this and see for myself what is going on.

ORIGINAL POST!!
* About almost TWO years ago, my boyfriend who is 37 asked me (28y/o) to do him a favor and to please call his female ”friend” to give her an address (which I looked up and it happened to be of a lawyer as far as I can remember). He wanted ME to do it because the woman’s husband is somehow violent,and jealous even of his own shadow, so basically it seemed to me that this woman in in some sort of abusive or toxic relationship she has 2 children with this man, and supposedly this man has even been in jail in the past, so my bf wanted me to do him the favor of calling her, Just in case the husband picked up the phone out of rage, that way he would think I was just her friend, and would not put her in any danger,,,this man had even called my boyfriend numerous time at midnight to tell him to not engage in conversations with his wife. and also smashed his wife’s computer for talking to much on Facebook and so on.

So 5 days ago,after almost 2 years of not mentioning her whatsoever after that favor he asked me to do, he mentions me this women AGAIN!! and the fact that now she is contacting him because she has ”suicidal” thoughts that she can handle it anymore because she is not happy with her life.., so he was emailing her back trying to talk her out of it,and told me that she is a long time friend and he is concerned of her doing something crazy or wanting to kill herself, But I don’t know what can possibly be going on here that after almost 2 years he mentions me this women again!!! I am very suspicious whether this can be a lover,an ex,What do you think can be happening?I don’t want to be played. gives me a weird vibe.


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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Jan, 2017 08:36 pm
How often and how much does he talk to her?

You didn't mention he was a Dr.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Jan, 2017 09:20 pm
@PUNKEY,
@PUNKEY Yeah he graduates in feb, he told me that she calls when she needs his ''advice'', she comes and goes, he told me he called her several times caused she had called him and he could not answer at the moment. she does not have money and she depends on her husband for it, even though isn't there any place she can get help for free or something even if my bf is a Doctor the most logical thing to do is to refer her or help her look for a mental center. I Feel as if my boyfriend has an attachment to her and cant let go (I have a strong feeling she is an ex lover).

And another I don't quite get how can they communicate so often, if her husband is super jealous and has a violent background. I would be scared if I was her!. I don't get that part. he even smashed her computer because she was chatting to much on facebook.
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2017 12:47 pm
If he goes into practice, then you need to get ready for many phone calls from worried mom, hysterical patients, emergencies, etc. etc. Many people think their dr. is an all-knowing, all-healing god.

If you have nothing else other than phone calls, let it go. You haven't listed any other proof that this guy is having an affair.

What do you do all day? All this time worrying about phone calls must take a lot of your energy.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2017 02:04 pm
@PUNKEY,
UFFF lots of my energy, I feel drained, but he is not techincally a doctor, oh lord, its just exhausting
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Jan, 2017 03:18 pm
@katya07,
If the actions of another person exhausts you, then it's time for a re-evaluation of yourself.

Study up on "codependency."

Maybe counseling can help you turn your attention back on your own self-development.
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