...endeavour advancing...

The edit you are suggesting would change the meaning of the sentence. The original sentence is awkward but gets the writer's message across.

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the original sentence is about personal faith

your suggested edit changes it to being about proselytizing

Thanks, ebeth.

Can you suggest rewording it so that the sentence is not awkward?

I am not happy with "endeavour advancing". The verb endeavour is used with the infinitive of another verb, e.g. endeavour to advance.

Thanks, contrex.

There are two to's in bold in the sentence. Is it OK?

I would like to conclude my New Year’s address by sincerely praying for each one of you to further endeavour to advance in faith.

It's fine, especially in a speech, where the repetition will provide emphasis.

Thanks, contrex.