can someone please see which sentence is best?

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1. The sweet memories with the children at Reyhaneh come with a bitter aftertaste of nostalgia that I forcibly swallow.
or
2. I still think about the children at Reyhaneh; a bitter aftertaste of nostalgia forcibly lingers across my taste buds.
or
3. I still think about the children at Reyhaneh; a bitter aftertaste of nostalgia is forced down my throat.
or
4.I can't think about the children at Reyhaneh without a bitter aftertaste of nostalgia overcoming me.

by the way, Reyhaneh is a center for disabled children, and I am trying to say that when I think about the memories there, I am overcome with nostalgia. feel free to suggest something.

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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 402 • Replies: 8

[+3] - contrex - 12/25/2016You can ignore dahileman, who is kind of "special". He cannot be removed or silenced, apparently. He can't help it.

@rosebandvar,

rosebandvar wrote:

I am trying to say that when I think about the memories there, I am overcome with nostalgia.

You just said it there. When I think about the children at Reyhaneh, I am overcome with nostalgia.

No need for all the mouth and throat stuff. That is called "over writing", and strikes a discordant, sickening, anatomical note.

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@rosebandvar,

To me Rose they're all just fine. Maybe you can use 'em in different places at different times

Tho I'd agree w/Con that maybe s/b shorter

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Taste buds... bitter aftertaste... forced down my throat. Yuk. Overdone. Excessive. Next thing a chest X-ray and a description of tonsils.

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@contrex,

Is number 3 wrong? I want it to be metaphorical though...any help?

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You can ignore dahileman, who is kind of "special". He cannot be removed or silenced, apparently. He can't help it.

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@rosebandvar,

rosebandvar wrote:

I want it to be metaphorical though...any help?

I told you. You are overdoing the metaphors. Dial it down A LOT. Forced down my throat? Sheesh.

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@rosebandvar,

Quote:

I want it to be metaphorical though

But Rose, as Con implies, nostalgia isn't usu reqd to be forced down

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@rosebandvar,

Welcome to Able2Know.

I'm thinking you're a very passionate woman : all those evocative references made me tingle.

I far prefer your first sally, and its bittersweet nod to the dvandva, pardon the pun rosebandvar.

Nostalgia refers to pleasant memories , wistfully seeking to return to happy times, so I imagine you mean reminisce ( and in any case you've already mentioned remembering in the first part of the sentence).

Maybe something like :

The sweet memories of the children at Reyhaneh blend with the bitter reality of the situation.

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