How do I hang on?

I suppose I should give you some background info which has potentially made this situation worse. Husband's mom was really sick and passed away last December and after that Husband wasn't himself. He was distant, not affectionate, touchy....but he wouldn't talk to me. We had been talking about have a threesome so try to open things sexually; but couldn't find a girl....so we started talking to couples. He seemed like he wanted to do this and was excited to try it so I was okay....I wanted to make him happy. Well we found a couple online who were both attractive and we were all clicking in the messages: but then we traded pictures of our bodies and Husband said no....he didn't want to do it anymore because he felt like the other guy was bigger than him. So we ended our group conversation.... we the problem is that the dude kept talking to me and I explained why Husband didn't want to do it. The other dude kept complimenting me and telling me how bad he wanted to be intimate with me and it made me feel good. Husband had asked me if I was still talking to him and I lied and said no. We ended up talking for only 3 hours. The dude exchanged some videos with me and continued to tell me how bad he wanted me. I never exchanged any other pictures or videos. When he sent me the videos I said things like "wow" "cool" and so on.

Needless to say Husband found out and wanted to leave me. He called me horrible names and treated me like **** but I stayed and continued to try. I started seeing a therapist to help figure out the situation. He had told me he didn't think he was in love with me and didn't even want to look at me or touch me. I worked really hard to get trust back and held on for the worst part of our relationship we have ever had. About a month and half later....we begin to get somewhat back to where we were. He told me he did love me and want to be with me. We have been good. I felt like he had pretty much moved past things; in fact he told me he was past things.

Fast forward to this December....he's being distant. Not affectionate, not communicating with me and what not. He's told me that he's stressed out with work and the liquor store and what not I've offered to help with whatever he wanted.

So recently( the last 2 weekend) he's been going over to a girl named Katie's house. She's an employee at the store and is married, both times he's gone over there he says he has drank to much and doesn't come home until 6:30 am. The first time I wasn't upset.....but the 2nd time I was mad. He would be so upset if I did that. When he came home this past weekend at 6:30 am, I asked him what was going on. I asked if there was someone else or what. He said he just had a lot of things on his mind. I pushed the issue and begged him to talk to me. He finally said that he's not happy and he doesn't know if he loves me anymore or if he wants to be married to me anymore. He said that he isn't sure why he's feeling this way...is it me? Work? Liquor store? He said he's been feeling like this for a month or 2. He said he wants to talk to a therapist and get his feelings figured out so that he doesn't mess up the best thing he has ever had.

This happened Sunday and since then he's told me he needs space; but doesn't define space. He isn't ready to talk about things yet and I understand that but I feel like I'm just hanging here. He said he knows I'm a good woman who is smart and beautiful but he doesn't know how he feels. He thought he had gotten past what happened in January but he's not and he said he hasn't fully gotten passed it which frustrates me because then I'm afraid that that means the last year of building and working has been a lie on his part.

He also told me he doesn't know how we have stayed married so long....he said we don't do anything together and we have nothing in common. He let me cuddle him this morning but he doesn't really touch me, he doesn't initiate kisses and he only makes small talk conversation with him. We are doing something together for Sin's birthday but idk.....

When he's been at Katie's house; he fixed her neighbors washer and since then he's been talking to her and Katie about our relationship. He's opening up to them but not me?!? He also "lost" his wedding ring....I believed him at first but now idk. He said that he's been messaging with this other girl a little bit (her name is crystal) and he likes all her posts on Facebook. Maybe I'm reading into things too much; but what I feel like is that he's establishing a emotional connection with these two girls and not me....

How did this happen? How can he completely turn his feelings off for me and act like this is nothing? How long am I supposed to wait? He does have a counselor appointment on the 29th and I know things won't be fixed then....but he won't open up to me and I'm afraid he's gonna decide he's done. I feel like he's already decided that....