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I always feel self conscious when I'm around my cousin, what should I do?

 
 
Reply Wed 21 Dec, 2016 11:33 pm
Okay, first of all, when I say "self conscious" I mean she's really skinny and I'm kind of... Not, and it makes me feel bad. I feel like she makes fun of me behind my back, and it hurts. I can never have fun when I'm with her, because I'm always afraid she's judging me and making fun of me in her head. I really don't want to feel this way, but I can't help it, and I know you guys probably think it's silly that I even care what she thinks, but can you blame me? Can you honestly say that you've never felt self consciousness because someone is more attractive, skinnier, or stronger? I know that you most likely have, so please help me.
 
dupre
 
  4  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:15 am
@Stacywhite435,
Stacywhite435, here's what I have for you. And it's not silly what you are feeling.

It's a fact of life.

Someone is always going to be more attractive, skinnier, stronger, wealthier, smarter, more accomplished, more satisfied, more giving, more kind, more anything that you are ... someone will always be more.

Even if you were Miss Universe and the entire planet hailed your great beauty and believed it, it would only last a year, and then would fade.

And, unfortunately, there will always be people who will judge you, judge you worthy or not, they will judge you. It's the way of things. Maybe not everybody, but there is always somebody in that frame of mind.

I know what I am getting ready to say may be difficult to hear and what I am going to suggest even more difficult to understand and apply. Know that it's a journey and not an instant light-bulb moment.

You will never, ever find the peace, composure, and joy you are seeking from outside of yourself. You may find a bit, but it will fade.

You must find it from within yourself.

How?

Maybe it's different for everyone, but for me, I found my joy in the things I love to do and discover. And I do indulge and dive into these interests most thoroughly.

I like books; I like camping, and hiking, and kayaking; I like astronomy; I like music; I like history; I like philosophy; I like languages; I like literature and theater and poetry and essays; I like anthropology; I like flora and fauna; I like geology; I like to learn. There are probably a host of other things I like, but I can't seem to get around to those things. There's not enough time.

These activities and pursuits give me so much joy that I am bursting. And when someone who knows me and loves me judges me kindly, I would hope that they would judge me to be a person who is passionate about many things and willing to invest the time and money and energy and hope and faith to pursue those things. That I am curious and tenacious and persistent and determined. And filled with such passion that it's hard to imagine having to put it all in only one lifetime.

And if they don't get that about me, that's okay.
Stacywhite435
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:23 am
@dupre,
Thank you 😊. I love writing, art, animals, being with my friends, music, singing, reading, helping people, and philosophy and I take comfort in those things, thank you for making me realize that. 😊
dupre
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:31 am
@Stacywhite435,
You are an amazing young woman. And I might venture to judge that you are light-years ahead of anyone around you.

You may commence shining.
Stacywhite435
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:48 am
@dupre,
Thank you so much, I will. 😊 As I said, I love writing, will you please download the first chapter of the book I'm writing, The Golden Rose. It's available at Lulu.com, and I really hope that you could read it. I am not try to spam anyone, I just really want to share it with the world. 😊
dupre
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:51 am
@Stacywhite435,
I might just do that and thank you for sharing.

I'm very proud of you for writing!
Stacywhite435
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:55 am
@dupre,
I know I've already said it 2 times, but thank you.☺
dupre
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 12:57 am
@Stacywhite435,
You are very welcome.
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