Men are a head f**k

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I have been dating a guy in the army for 6 months and things started amazingly. He was posted to Canada for 8 weeks in August and went silent for 48 hours before because he didn't want to tell me. After finally talking we got through the 8 weeks and everything was fine. However he would say he would introduce me to his family but hadn't. Said he would put me as his next of kin so I would be informed if something happened to him but then when I asked if he had done it he said I was pressuring him. He has asked me to marry him and have a baby together (I already have 2 children from a previous relationship)Again a week ago he was silent for 48 hours and found out he has been posted to the falklands for 6 months. He has now gone completely silent after saying he loves me but will be away from me loads. I have tried to speak to him but he just ignores my texts and calls. What would you do?

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@Pinkgirl24,

I would just end it. Army life is difficult, he is probably going through a lot with these moves... but this isn't something that I would want to go through if I were you. If he isn't in a place where he can be in this relationship with you, then the relationship just isn't meant to be.

I would end the relationship and move on.

1 Reply

@Pinkgirl24,

Being in the military I know how busy and hard that life is. Plans can change, events come up, and loved ones of military members have to bear with it. I tell people I'll do things and I end up not doing them, either because I have other obligations or because my insanity makes me forget and put it off. You'll have to bear with him.

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@maxdancona,

Always about ending relationships, you're not much of a cupid are you

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@Pinkgirl24,

Quote:

He was posted to Canada for 8 weeks in August

wait, is it 1812

Quote:

he has been posted to the falklands for 6 months

or 1982

enquiring minds want to know

1 Reply

@Skeleton ,

Skeleton wrote:

Always about ending relationships, you're not much of a cupid are you

Yes I am. Most relationships will end. And many relationships end far too late.

Ending a relationship that isn't working isn't a bad thing, most people will end 4 or 5 relationships before they find someone with whom they can stay for the long term. If a relationship isn't meant to be, why keep it?

The longer you spend with someone who isn't right for you, the longer it will take you to find the person who is.

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@maxdancona,

Well said. It also tends to get harder to meet new people, the older you get. Hence if you waste time hanging around when it's not working, you are only making it tougher on yourself in terms of getting to the next level.

2 Replies

@jespah,

Quote:

It also tends to get harder to meet new people, the older you get.

I don't understand this, since we are all getting older together. But I can attest that it is true.

I recently had a 42 year old woman tell me at 49 that she was looking for someone more in her age range. That hurt a little Wink

. I wasn't about to tell her that all the 42 year old men are looking for women in their early thirties. I figure she can find that out on her own.

On second thought... maybe I do understand the problem here.

1 Reply

@jespah,

It's hard to meet new people no matter what.

0 Replies

@Pinkgirl24,

Things can be complicated more than usual when you're trying to date someone who is in the military. If you both think this is something that could have potential for the long run , you may want to consider joining a support group for spouses/partners of people in the military. It can help.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

I recently had a 42 year old woman tell me at 49 that she was looking for someone more in her age range. That hurt a little . I wasn't about to tell her that all the 42 year old men are looking for women in their early thirties. I figure she can find that out on her own.

On second thought... maybe I do understand the problem here.

Good one max.

I don't understand how some people, once they are in the well established age range of adult, can make such a big fuss over, what? 7 years? That's nothing.

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@djjd62,

Sorry deployment but you know what I mean. Very padantic

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I know he is ignoring me because I can see him on whatsapp just not responding to my messages. I know why he is anxious because his ex wife cheated on him when he was on deployment in Afghan and is now married to the guy she cheated with. Point is though I'm not his ex wife and have done all I can to reassure him I'm not like that.

1 Reply

@Pinkgirl24,

There is a saying in Spanish that makes me chuckle...

"Amores lejos felices los cuatro."

The rough translation in English is; with long distances loves, four people are happy.

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@Pinkgirl24,

Girl, that's "ahead"

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@dalehileman,

No idea what that means

1 Reply

@Skeleton ,

Thank you for that. Nice to hear from the other side.

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@Pinkgirl24,

Quote:

what that means

Men are ahead f'g
That is, the male supposes he's better at it

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@Skeleton ,

Skeleton wrote:

Always about ending relationships, you're not much of a cupid are you

Thing is, by the time someone is so frustrated as to post the problem here, turning loose is often the best advice.

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@dalehileman,

Quote dale:

Quote:

Girl, that's "ahead"

Actually, I think she means that "men are a headfuck", as in this particular man is ******* with her head and she's generalizing it.

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