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Wed 6 Oct, 2004 06:15 pm
Let's get a thread going concerning Freudian Slips. Anyone have any good Freudian Slip stories? I have one...
When I was in college (yes, Ratzenhofer did attend college -- stop the jaw-dropping) I worked as a security guard at night. Didn't pay much, but I had plenty of time to study.
One night the boss says to me, "Can you run up to Cherokee Plaza and relieve Scott? He just called in and said he was sick."
I told the boss I could, even though I wasn't thrilled about the idea. Cherokee Plaza was a seedy little strip mall consisting of a pizza place, a video rental shop, drugstore, and a dozen or so other shops that I no longer recall. I didn't like going there because they expected you to go on patrol every 20 minutes and it really cut into your study time.
When I arrived I walked into the security office and Scott was loading up his canvas bag as he prepared to go home. On the desk were four brand-new porno tapes. As he started putting them into the bag, I asked him, "What the hell are those, Scott?
"Adult movies", he replied.
" Where'd you get them?" I asked.
He pointed toward the video store and said, "I bought them."
"Why would you buy four tapes?", I asked, "they're all the same. aren't they? Wouldn't one serve your purposes?
"They are not all the same!" Scott said angrily. "They are all different and they are all good."
"How do you know they're good, Scott?"
"Because I've read the reviews, I've seen the previews, the actors and actressess are good. I know this stuff by hand."
"By hand"?, I asked, controlling my facial expressions quite well.
Scott turned the brightest red I have ever seen a human being turn.
He started stammering and said in a very flustered voice, "By heart! By heart! Fock you! You know what I mean!"
That's my Freudian Slip story.
Anyone else care to contribute?
good one Gus...I'm thinkin
I once had a freudian slip (pink) but I never wore it out of the office.
I never had a Freudian slip but I did once own a black-and-yellow muffler (the kind you wear around your neck in cold weather) that had Midas embroidered all over it. Does that count?
I once knew a chick who managed a Midas repair shop. She was sorta butch.
Back in university, before my head was blown, I had a fascination with German blondes. I met one named Paula. My name was Paul, and I thought, "Paul and Paula, yeah, they sucked! I think I'm in love."
We went on a date to some German restaurant, she was a bit of a sauerkraut, but something about the aroma intrigued me. "What do you think about Hit her," I said.
"Vot?"
"Oh, my mistake, I meant Hitler."
"Hitler was a disgrace. How dare you bring up the question."
"What if I put on a uniform, would you like that?"
"Woof..." she said.
It was then I mentioned getting medieval on her ass with a piece of convenient cod. That seemed to really turn her on. Things got very hot. In the heat of ecstasy she yelled out "Yes! Keep talking dirty!"
That's when things went awry. My passion was skewered by my lack of self-esteem and I yelled out "I'm no pubic speaker!!"
Well, that was the end of that, and that's my story.
After all these years, I hope not.
I mentioned Kilban to a chick once, and she said it was a Buzzkill. <Freudian slip>
i thought the Kliban was in an erogenous zone?
panzade wrote:i thought the Kliban was in an erogenous zone?
I once dated an art student who was both a Klimt fan, and a Taurus. It was love at first sight.
I know I've had some good slips, but can't remember any.
panzade wrote:you're so ferklempt cav
'Ferklempt' means 'confused'. and when it comes to a stray kitty in need, my spirit of 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' breaks free. It's a Jewish thing...call it a mitzvah.
me and my girlfriend has just started doing "things" and one night she went down that road and it was great... we were laying in bed and i went to say "i loved that" and said "i love you" and i stammered and stuttered to say what i meant and proceeded to shove my foot in my mouth when i told her that i didnt love her and just went down hill but she laughed about it
Gus
That made me laugh out loud.
Seed, your girlfriend sounds like a good sport.
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