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How do I know if its abuse?

 
 
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2016 02:05 pm
He doesn't hit me, but when we get into arguments he can get pretty mean. Yesterday we argued and he got angry and stood over top of me while I was sitting on the couch, so I couldn't get up. Also, he seems to be very controlling. I'm in college and I like to go have fun, I used to do this a lot but since being with him, I've stopped. The other night I went to a friends after work, he called me and asked when I was going to be home. I told him that I had had a drink, and if he could come pick me up when I was ready that would be great. If not I planned on staying over. He hung up on me and a few minutes later showed up at the party and told me that he was either taking me home right then, or I had to stop drinking. We also never do anything I want, unless I guilt him into it. However, when I turn him down on something he blows up and says that we always do what I want, but when he wants something he can't have it. He's also very touchy with sex. It seems like he has to have it every day, if not he gets frustrated. When I tell him no, simply because I just don't feel like having sex, he takes it personal, and thinks I don't want to have sex with him specifically. I tell him all the time it's not that I'm not attracted, its just that I don't want it as much as him. Most of our fights are from me saying no to sex. I've given in a few times, but found that I felt worse than if we had just fought. Lastly, whenever I get upset about something, and try to tell him about it, we end up fighting, and I end up being the one in the wrong and he's the one that's angry at me. DO you think this is emotional abuse, at least a form of it? I grew up watching domestic violence, so I know what it looks like to be physically abused, but I've never seen emotional abuse. At least not the sneaky, sly, smooth, manipulative kind. I just want to know what you guys think. Part of me thinks that if I even have to ask this, then it has to be wrong in some way, but I'd still like someone to either second me, or prove otherwise.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2016 02:25 pm
@u2n0o1h5,
Oh yeah, it's bad.

You're giving in to sex in order to shut him up because he's such a pain about it. He demands for you to come home when you don't want to. He guilts and manipulates you. He prevents you from getting up. He's controlling.

You're at Defcon 4 or so, I would say. Why hang around to see if it gets any worse?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2016 03:25 pm
Trust your instincts.

Re-read you own post. It's quite scary to me.

Do you feel trapped?
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2016 03:49 pm
@u2n0o1h5,
You already know.
Get away from him.
0 Replies
 
u2n0o1h5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Nov, 2016 05:29 pm
@PUNKEY,
I hate to admit it, but yes. I do feel trapped. I find myself thinking about what life would be like without him, like what I would do. Like I actually make a plan in my head, I just never follow through. Mostly because I don't know how to get there.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 29 Nov, 2016 05:44 pm
@u2n0o1h5,
u2n0o1h5 wrote:
Mostly because I don't know how to get there.


You are in college. Go to a counselling service on-campus.

Get out.
0 Replies
 
DavidRyan
 
  0  
Reply Fri 9 Dec, 2016 10:44 am
It dossn't matter that you are abusing someone beside this if you are saying something to anyone and they are feeling pain with your words.. It is also called as abuse or heart broken words
0 Replies
 
 

 
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