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Is my situation normal considering that I'm upper-middle class?

 
 
Reply Fri 11 Nov, 2016 09:04 pm
I've already asked this question, but I didn't mention that my parents were upper-middle class. I'm 22 years old and I'll be graduating from college with my B.A. in a few months. In my field, there aren't really any jobs I can get right away that pay a ton. I'll have to start with a lower-paying job and work my way up towards a higher-paying job. The thing is, the jobs I'll start out with won't pay enough for me to support myself. Therefore, I'll probably be living with my parents for at-least a year after I've graduated and they'll be financially supporting me during that time as well. Is it normal for someone from an upper middle class family to still be financially dependent on their parents even after graduating from college? What if I lived with roommates and my parents helped with my apartment expenses? Would that be normal considering my parents are upper middle class?
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Nov, 2016 10:48 pm
@prpinrni,
That's not limited to upper-middle class students; it's the majority of students who graduate from college today.
Our son has his graduate degree and works for the University of Texas in Austin, but we still provide him some assistance so he won't have to struggle so much.
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saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 02:39 am
I would say your situation is normal.
It is often that one has to start with a lower paying job and work ones way up.
Be happy that you can live at home and do not have to borrow money for your living.
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Lady Lingiton
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 08:02 am
@prpinrni,
Quote:
Is it normal for someone from an upper middle class family to still be financially dependent on their parents even after graduating from college?


Utterly normal dear boy.

Our triplets Tristan, Crispin and Algernon turn 37 next February and have never shown the slightest inkling of an interest in seeking to sully themselves with the rigours of employment. They all went to Eton as you do, thence to university of course - abroad.If I were you, I'd ask mummy and daddy what to do under the circumstances. Toodle pip.
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contrex
 
  0  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 09:13 am
Where do people say "I am upper-middle class"? Not Britain, that's for sure. Given that families in that social stratum tend to be well-off, I would advise the OP to (a) sit back and enjoy it (b) milk it for all he or she is worth.
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chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 11:12 am
How you are able to support yourself with the first job out of college, and the amount of income and/or wealth of your parents have nothing to do with each other.

They're not earning that paycheck, you are.

My question is if you choose to get a roommate(s) to share all expenses, why would you need your parents help? First apartments after college aren't usually in the top of the price range. Splitting rent 2 or 3 ways should be affordable.

I would think that if you choose to live with your parents for awhile, and are working, you would be contributing to the household. It's not like you're expecting to live there for free, right? Rolling Eyes
Kolyo
 
  0  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 11:31 am
As long as it doesn't do you any damage socially at work, who cares if it's normal? Live with your parents as long as you can, and build up a war chest of savings. Paying nothing in rent gives you an advantage, so seize it.
Robert Gentel
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 12:57 pm
@prpinrni,
The jobs pay enough to support yourself, you just might not have the same standard of living. That your parents are willing to make up the difference is a bit of personal good fortune you have but isn't going to magically make you make more money that other people just because their families are not as well off.

As for wanting to live away from your parents but still have them financially support you that's an entirely personal decision for them. It is not "normal" in the sense that most human beings do not have that luxury but it is not "abnormal" in the sense that it is not all that uncommon. But it's entirely your parent's personal choice and if they choose to make you support yourself it is good experience that you seem to need (in the sense that you seem completely new to the idea of supporting yourself and at 22 they've supported you longer than they had an obligation to).
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 03:04 pm
@Robert Gentel,
I have always told my children to go into a career they will enjoy. Our son works at the reference library at the University of Texas in Austin, but his pay isn't that good, so we help him financially.
Our situation is quite good, because although we live in the heart of Silicon Valley where home prices are very expensive, we don't have a mortgage or rent, because we bought here when it was mostly cherry orchards just transforming into towns.
I think that's true with many seniors like us who have children living in different cities across our country.
What's interesting in our area is the fact that we have many young couples with children living here. I think most of them live in apartments. I'm sure most work in the high tech industry.
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saab
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 03:22 pm
@chai2,
To live at home or share a cheap apartment with others depends on where you live.
In a smaller city, where cheap apartments are available is one thing. A big city with few cheap and many expensive apartments it is not easy to move away from home.
Also in big cities there are areas you do not want to live.
I know a lady who wanted to sell her house for a reasonable prize. She had several thousands who answered the ad. That is how many are looking for a place to live.
Then there are areas where you can try to sell your house for years without even succeeding as it is in an area without public traffic, shops etc.
About 25% to 30% of Brits (I read) are helping the grown up children to buy a place.
In Denmark parents buy apartments which they rent out to their children, (who study) and save taxes and build up something for their children.
In Germany many parents have to help their kids to buy a house or apartment.
The same in Sweden.
saab
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 03:26 pm
@saab,
Article from 2014,
Since then some European countries have become poorer.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/mar/24/dependent-generation-half-young-european-adults-live-parents
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chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 03:38 pm
@saab,
You missed my point saab.

It was that (a) what the OP parents have and what he has are 2 separate things, and (b) is the OP chooses to live at home, that doesn't mean he doesn't have to contribute.

I have no problem with family members living together for their entire lives. If you work, you contribute.
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 03:41 pm
@chai2,
I agree with that you have to contribute.
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contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 04:21 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Robert Gentel wrote:
it is not "abnormal" in the sense that it is not all that uncommon.
Many British kids of whatever class stay at home until 30+ and often, when they need to buy or rent a home, they have to get help from what is called "the bank of Mum and Dad". I have to say that my generation never had these things. I left home at 19 and supported myself thereafter.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 04:39 pm
@contrex,
I left home when I was 17, and finished high school in another town. Lived in the attic of a garage with two other guys; we all came from poor families.
Went to Chicago and went to work for a wholesale company as a typist to produce invoices. Did that for about a year living from pay check to pay check, then returned to CA, and worked as a sorter at the post office. After that, I volunteered into the USAF, and my situation turned around. Made E4 in 18 months, and worked with conventional and nuclear weapons.
Long story short; earned my college degree after my discharge, and everything changed for the better.
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ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 04:47 pm
@contrex,
From my reading, a lot of italian students or former students can't find jobs. Culturally, many stayed with parents until they married or had work or school in other provinces, but lately, the jobs are hard to find in Italy. This is from earlier reading; I'm not sure what is happening there right this month, and I figure it differs regionally.

I had to get a job, back in the day. I had near full time or full time jobs from the day I turned sixteen, a junior in high school, as my father's income fell apart (long story) and my mother got a job as a clerk, so we needed what I earned to sustain us. I was lucky in that I'm so old now that back in my time, the University of California had no tuition. Things are different now.

The jobs, back then all in hospitals or m.d.'s offices, carried me away from being a shy violet to getting interested in other people and actually talking to them, sometimes a lot. That all helped me grow up.. to the extent I am. Not so long after that, I had to sell their house to pay for my mother's care.

So, I'll echo other posters - think about what you want. You have a cushion with your parents being able to help. There are benefits to either choice, a cushion, or learning to make it on your own.
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 06:24 pm
@ossobucotemp,
ossobucotemp wrote:
The jobs, back then all in hospitals or m.d.'s offices, carried me away from being a shy violet to getting interested in other people and actually talking to them, sometimes a lot. That all helped me grow up.. to the extent I am.
I'll echo this. I meet many 22-25 year olds who have been mollycoddled to the hilt by their mom and dad, been through "uni", got a mediocre degree, who know nothing about anything, and who think they are too good to do data entry (or anything routine in fact). They have zero social skills (and often, zero motivation to get these).

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TomTomBinks
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Nov, 2016 06:57 pm
@prpinrni,
I think it might be normal, but may not be the best situation. A little hardship will do you good. If you get a full time job that pays more than minimum wage you should be able to pay your rent and bills just fine. Of course this is relative. If you choose to live in a fashionable part of town and drive a new or nearly new car and spend money on restaurants and weekend getaways, then no, you will not be able to support yourself. You seem to be greatly concerned with what "class" you belong to. You should be more concerned with being an independent, responsible and mature contributing member of society rather than an over privileged over indulged drain on your parents' resources.
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saab
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Nov, 2016 01:27 am
For the parents and grandparents generation it was so much easier to get a job
to support yourself while studying.
Not long ago you could sweep the street with a broom - now you need a driverĀ“s licence.
You could walk into a store and ask for a job - now they want CVs and recommendations.
If you had a driverĀ“s licence there were other types of jobs.
In Sweden a lot of young people do not have licence - it is far too expensive.
Firms are desperately looking for drivers.
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Miller
 
  0  
Reply Sun 13 Nov, 2016 10:45 am
@Kolyo,
Kolyo wrote:

Paying nothing in rent gives you an advantage....


Yes, indeed...a really big advantage. Living off your parents, when you should be out in the real world living on your own will mark you as an A-hole loser or as commonly called on the streets of the real world, a perpetual ass.

Now, who wants a son like that? Why not join the US Marines and become a real man...?
 

 
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