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delete or not to delete on FB

 
 
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 03:56 pm
one of my girlfriends and her husband knew that my boyfriend was dating other girl behind my back. ( and other of our friends knew of this affair and never said anything.) my girlfriend is friends with this girl on FB, I asked my gf if she knew this girl and said no and was unaware of the affair. I found out the truth a few days later and had lied to me. I had pictures of events that they all showed up too. I'm crushed. is it right for me to ask my gf to delete this other girl. my gf did not know this girl before the affair.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 04:01 pm
@Rose6767,
You can ask, but everyone's a grownup and is entitled to their own friends.

I would also add - don't make this all or nothing. If your friend doesn't delete this other woman, would you defriend your friend?
Rose6767
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 04:13 pm
@jespah,
I totally understand your point of view, I just feel hurt because she knew of the affair, I considered her as one of my close friends. What sucks was that I had shared this information with her, cried on her shoulder and she did give me great advice. I asked how she knew this girl and she said she only met her once and wasn't aware of the affair. she had lied and I have seen public pictures of them at several events. I have no issues of the other girl, my bf had lied to her and told her that we were just friends.
Krumple
 
  2  
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 04:18 pm
@Rose6767,
Your friend doesn't sound like a friend. Delete both and the guy.
0 Replies
 
Rose6767
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 05:02 pm
@jespah,
My boyfriend and I are on the same pool league team with her and her husband. I haven't unfriend her yet because I don't want to have my personal issue effect the team. And she doesn't know that I have this knowledge. I'm keeping this under wraps, I'm a very private person and rarely share my feelings. I feel if I do delete her from FB , she might take it personally and could cause friction.
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Oct, 2016 05:31 pm
@Rose6767,
Rose6767 wrote:

My boyfriend and I are on the same pool league team with her and her husband. I haven't unfriend her yet because I don't want to have my personal issue effect the team. And she doesn't know that I have this knowledge. I'm keeping this under wraps, I'm a very private person and rarely share my feelings. I feel if I do delete her from FB , she might take it personally and could cause friction.



So you are going to continue taking one for the team? Keeping the team together is more important than your feelings then there is nothing you can do. At least not until the league is finished.

Forgive your friend for with holding information and forgive your boyfriend for cheating on you. Because you wouldnt want to cause friction for your boyfriend.

This is insanity.
Rose6767
 
  4  
Reply Wed 26 Oct, 2016 10:03 am
@Krumple,
You're right. you're so right.
I'm quitting the team. and I won't forgive my boyfriend for a second time. As for my friend, I can forgive her, but I know now where the level of our friendship is ( which is zero) .

***light bulb moment***
All this time I"m trying to be nice and not cause friction. OMG I'm not the one that caused the friction, they did. This is my fault and I'm beating myself up to be nice and do the right thing. they didn't. Thank you krumple.
Rose6767
 
  2  
Reply Wed 26 Oct, 2016 10:10 am
@Rose6767,
meant to say. This is NOT my fault .
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  3  
Reply Wed 26 Oct, 2016 12:09 pm
@Rose6767,
Rose6767 wrote:

You're right. you're so right.
I'm quitting the team. and I won't forgive my boyfriend for a second time. As for my friend, I can forgive her, but I know now where the level of our friendship is ( which is zero) .

***light bulb moment***
All this time I"m trying to be nice and not cause friction. OMG I'm not the one that caused the friction, they did. This is my fault and I'm beating myself up to be nice and do the right thing. they didn't. Thank you krumple.


Its good you see it. It might not be easy but be optimistic. You dont need to sacrafice your happiness dealing with them when you might be missing out on two new people who will be better friends to you.

A little temporary lonliness is better than staying in a relationship that makes you the bad guy for doing nothing wrong. So dont miss out on something better for you. They are out there.
Rose6767
 
  2  
Reply Wed 26 Oct, 2016 02:15 pm
@Krumple,
Thank you for your advice. after my light bulb moment, I went over to his place and ended the relationship. sometimes it's better than to get advice from strangers , because sometimes friends can be bias.
Rose6767
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Oct, 2016 02:16 pm
@Rose6767,
the truth may hurt, but at least it's honest
0 Replies
 
 

 
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