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Fri 14 Oct, 2016 03:56 am
I'll try and keep it short. Been living with my gf for 15 months. Included in the package is her 10 y/o daughter and 22 y/o brother. I place a fair amount of emphasis on money but she doesn't. In short, my bank account has been dwindling since I have moved in with them.
Repaying my student after it came out of deferment is a big reason my money is evaporating but after paying 1/3 of the bills, I need to chip in extra when its time to buy more food and when the gf and I go out, I'm usually paying. It's not that she is cheap but she is almost completely financially supporting her brother who spent the first 5 months of the year not working and even though he is working now, pays only a small amount. So since she is supporting him (as am I in a way), money is really tight for her. Her student load provider came after her and I just "loaned" her $1000. Loaned is in quotes cause I have doubts she can pay me back.
tl;dr: The bro aside from paying little does nothing around the house. We have to pay her mom to clean every few weeks cause the both of us are too busy to keep up with the house. My patience and money is wearing thin. Am I right to start feeling frustrated or does this come with the territory when you move in with a woman? I feel if things continue, it will do irreversible damage to my financial future. I'm almost 40 and need to start thinking about retirement.
@Wxman3441,
So, is there an up side? Good in bed? Cooks great?
If you can't answer, time to move on. Feel good though, you're not married.
@Wxman3441,
It comes with the territory when you move in with anyone who can't just completely support you. I mean, she is the one putting a roof over your head. She pays most of the bills. She has two kids to take care of. You paying for some food and giving her a loan doesn't seem all that unreasonable considering she provides for a ton of the expenses you'd have to pay if you lived alone. Maybe you should think about ways you can get back on track financially instead of blaming a woman who's given you a place to stay and supports two kids.
If you believe that living with her will drain your bank account, then dont. It's that simple.
@Wxman3441,
Is there a reason your gf 's brother is not cleaning the house as part of his contribution toward your family?
Sounds like the adults need to sit down and have a very serious discussion about how things are going to be going forward.
Unless you can afford to give your gf money, don't loan it to her. Loaning money to friends of any sort can be very problematic. Accept it is a gift right off.
@perennialloner,
I should point out that this is not a situation where I moved in because I needed to. I was perfectly fine living alone and seeing her several days a week. She's not putting a roof over my head, I can move out tomorrow and be perfectly fine. She was already renting the place she is at now and I simply moved in because I love her and want to be closer to her everyday. The kid I get and knew what I was getting into. I am paying the amount that was verbally agreed upon when I moved in. Now I pay that and pick up most of the groceries and do the bulk of the cleaning because her bro contributes next to nothing.
@Wxman3441,
Wxman3441 wrote:
I can move out tomorrow and be perfectly fine.
There's your answer.
You'll probably lose her as a girlfriend, but apparantly you'll be perfectly fine with that.
I'm not being sarcastic.
If you're fine with not living with her, or having her as a girlfriend, then the logical thing to do would be to move out and move on.
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