Have you ever feel ashamed?

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I am doing a university project about feeling ashamed of certain things. I want to address this topic because I feel like our society is making us feel ashamed of our body and normal bodily functions.
I thought of different taboos in our society such as breastfeeding in public, menstruation, mental illness, being alone, nudity, acne and more.
As an example I will briefly talk about menstruation. Have any of you ladies ever felt like you have to keep feminine products hidden so that no one sees your tampons? Even Tampax designs their product to be hidden and discreet. So what is it about all this secrecy? Is every woman trying to hide the fact of their periods and why? What is so embarrassing about a clean, unopened tampon?
Another example would be pooping, especially in public. Everyone does it, it is a necessary part of who we are. So why are so many people especially women feeling ashamed of talking about it? I used to date a guy who thought that ladies don't poop as it is gross as women are beautiful creatures. Discussing it in public is gross and uncomfortable.
It is difficult to make people talk face to face about their problems, therefore I have decided to ask here as it is more anonymous. I was wondering if any of you ever felt ashamed or embarrassed in any way and if you would like to share any of your thoughts on this topic or even your experiences?
I would be very grateful and it would help me with my project a lot.

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 501 • Replies: 13

[+4] - jespah - 10/12/2016Privacy and shame aren't the same thing. I mainly didn't want people to be up in my business because (a) it's not their business and (b ) I didn't want some sexist idiot to decide I was behaving a...

@karoline555,

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help me with my project

Doubtless Kar you'll soon get more input better than what I might provide but meantime pray what's your project

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@karoline555,

It's an interesting subject to be sure. If you have studied anything about the Romans, they used to have huge restrooms with long benches stretched out against the wall with holes. Also, the Japanese had public baths where both sexes used the same baths. I'm not sure they still exist in Japan, but our family used to go to them in California before WWII. You might want to look into this, and find pictures of them. I'm sure they are available on the internet.
On African all day safaris where there are no bushes to hide behind, men and women must use the vehicle in some way to do #1 and #2. Usually the back of the open vehicle is used.

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I remember not being ashamed:

I used to have difficult cramps; I tended to get better after I vomited. This passed some years later, when I was put on the pill - that was a lot of years.

--- the time I threw up in the grass area between the chemistry building and math building at UCLA.

--- the time I threw up in the women's student union bathroom and the woman in the neighboring booth said, "Oh, please"...

--- the time I went to the school health center and just got there and threw up in a telephone booth and then just left - I was busy wiping off and embarrassed. Ashamed would be incorrect.

--- the time when unbeknownst to me I had a bleeding fibroid and couldn't fine a bathroom in Rome.

If there was shame in any of those, it was not telling the people at the desk when I messed up the telephone booth.

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Privacy and shame aren't the same thing. I mainly didn't want people to be up in my business because (a) it's not their business and (b ) I didn't want some sexist idiot to decide I was behaving a certain way or making a certain decision because of my cycle.

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I agree privacy and being ashemed are two different things.
You can behave with a certain amount of discretion.
You do not have to demonstrate what you are doing.

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I thought of different taboos in our society such as breastfeeding in public, menstruation, mental illness, being alone, nudity, acne and more.

Breastfeeding can be done in a demonstrative way, which is uncomfortable for people around the mother and child.
Of course women talk about menstruation around other women. But it certainly is not something which fits as a dinner conversation just as little as problems with other more intimate things.
Of course one can talk about mental illness, but again please in a nice way.
What you have mentioned are things which most of us do not want to see, hear nor talk about if it is not with a very close friend.

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I'm still trying to figure out how someone with more than a year's worth of education had no idea that women poop.

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@karoline555,

In Japan, many families hid their developmentally handicapped family member, and kept them inside the home. Again, I'm not sure if this still happens.

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@cicerone imposter,

It happens/happened also in Europe.
Now we can talk more open about mentally handicapped, but it seems as many parent(s) are ashamed of their kids if they do not live up to a certain high intellegens. Very often in Japan, but also in the western world.
As if a practical intellegens does not have the same value as a "book intellegens"

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@saab,

I don't over rate "intelligence" based on what we see about what so-called intelligent people do in this world - especially when it comes down to politics and religion.

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You could also include that there is no escaping the fact that a child is still often judged by his or her name - it is even thought to play a part in success later in life.
How often do people feel ashamed by the name given them as babies?

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@saab,

I also learned many years ago that nice looking children often get better grades, not because they are smarter, but based on their looks. They also get away with misconduct where other children are scolded for the same offense.

http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/10/teachers-give-better-grades-to-more-attractive-students-study/

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@cicerone imposter,

That happens not only to children....unfortunately we often judge the apperance.

Have you ever feel ashamed?

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