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Fri 30 Sep, 2016 10:51 am
I have a friend who has several family problems. His mother is ill and he has to take care of her, his siblings and their kids are toxic people that keep causing trouble, gossip, make things up, etc. There are many more problems in this family, but it would take too long to give all the details. Besides the problems with his family he deals with depression and anxiety. We talk often and he always mentions these problems he is having, hearing always about this problems and hearing all the details about them makes me feel bad and overwhelmed , I would like to have a conversation about something that is not a problem at times. Due to this I have asked told him that we need to stop talking. I have my own problems to deal with and want to try and relax as I can, hearing always about his problems makes me feel stressed. Am I overreacting? Is it exaggerated to feel overwhelmed by hearing everything about his problems?
No you are not selfish or cruel to want to stop this.
You are not a therapist and do not have the answers to all these complex issues that this family has. You are not trained nor have the experience to guide people who have multiple problems. Don't feel that you have to come up with solutions or listen to the same story over and over.
What CAN you do? Encourage these folks to get professional help - help from religious or medical agencies, relatives, or social/religious outreach centers.
@PUNKEY,
Seconding this. There are folks who will not seek help specifically because someone is giving them a sympathetic ear, and they have no idea how badly that sympathetic ear's owner wants to chew their own leg off in order to escape the prison of listening to the same litany of problems, over and over.
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