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How are my lyrics (I'm really unsure)

 
 
Reply Wed 28 Sep, 2016 01:25 pm
[Verse 1]
One word said,
Then shatter like glass,
Flying through the air
But do they care?

Just stare one
Never gets noticed
Only gets used to
Keep them happy

[Chorus]
Life's a fragile thing,
Should never be messed with.
A single word,
Could destroy somebody's world,
Just like glass.

[Verse 2]
Pressure builds
Can't be handled so,
It comes crashing down.
Nothing left.

Once broken,
It cannot be fixed,
Without leaving scars.
Forever cracked.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Do you know?
That they don't show,
How broken they are
All their scars.

[Chorus]


I just want your honest opinion, I'm not too sure on the chorus. So if anyone has any suggestions please say and I will consider them :-)
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 1,132 • Replies: 3
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contrex
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Sep, 2016 02:36 pm
It's a bit gloomy.
0 Replies
 
loardeva
 
  0  
Reply Mon 12 Dec, 2016 06:30 am
@Moonlight2442,
Not so lovely! Need more practice.
0 Replies
 
LLofthe21stcentury
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Oct, 2017 08:46 pm
@Moonlight2442,
I liked the bridge but maybe think of going into more depth. What are you really trying to say. Every song has to come from somewhere and forcing an idea never ends well, trust me, i've had way too many of those and they are just awful. I literally have written 22+ songs and only four of them are promising ideas and out of those four only two are finished and you wanna know what prompted me to write those two? The first one i wrote when i was twelve or thirteen and I had a huge fight with my dad and i ran up to my room crying, so angry i just wanted to hit something. I picked up my notebook and poured my heart out onto the page. The second song just came out when I realized my sexuality I had been depressed for a while and suddenly there was something there. Something real yet so far away. Once I got to it i felt so relived that i had something to reel me back in. Such raw emotion produced a song. Most of the time you just have to wait for the song inside to break free. Wow, this is what happens when i type without thinking about what to say, lol.
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