Should i tell my sister her boyfriend tried it on with me?

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I am 19 and my 17 year old sister has been with her 18 year old boyfriend for just over a year. They're not in a particularly healthy relationship nevertheless he is her first proper boyfriend and she is besotted with him. Last night i was cleaning out my fish tank standing by the sink in the bathroom and he came in (my sister was down stairs and my boyfriend was in my bedroom) and slapped my bum. I ignored it but then a few minutes later he came back and groped my bum with both hands and said 'the things i'd do to you'. At the time i was kind of shocked and just kind of laughed it off and walked away but now its playing on my mind. I feel like my sister deserves to know but i dont want her to turn against me. I know she is going to be heartbroken and this will damage her self esteem. She's always said she wants to look and be more like me. I dont want to upset anyone but i want whats best for her. Im worried sick she'll turn against me out of anger and bitterness.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 349 • Replies: 6

[+3] - PUNKEY - 09/29/2016He touched her TWICE. The first time was the time to say, "Hey, watch your hands, buddy." Then he did it [u]again[/u] and she laughed. My bet is that he will try something...

@Scarlett1616,

The first thing you need to do is to talk to him - and let him know that his behaviour is not acceptable.

Do you and your sister live independently or are you still in your family home with parent/s? If your parent/s are in the home, you need to speak to them. They need to know what kind of people are in their home.

After speaking to him and any adults in the house, you can decide what your sister needs to know and how you are going to tell her. She'll be unhappy, but she will survive.

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@Scarlett1616,

I agree with eBeth, you should talk to him first and tell him that this type of behavior is not acceptable and if he touches you again inappropriately, you'll escort him personally out of your home or your parent's home if you live at home.
Your sister is only 17 years old, she'll find out what's acceptable and what's not.

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Did you "laugh it off" in front of him?

If so, then ignore him, since you minimized the situation when it happened.

It's too late to bring it up now - except if he tries to grab you again. Say to him, "Hey, don't be touching me like that again or I'll let my sister know what a creep you are."

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I would tell him privately that if he ever touches you inappropriately again, you will go to the police and charge him with sexual assault.

Hopefully that will end any possibility of a repeat incident (or worse, an escalation).

If there are no more incidents after that, I would avoid telling anyone anything.

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

It's too late to bring it up now - except if he tries to grab you again.

I don't know if I agree with that. I think someone can be caught off guard and try to laugh it off because they don't know how they want to react, and then think about it afterwards and decide that they really don't like what happened.

I don't think it's too late for a verbal warning to never do that again.

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@oralloy,

He touched her TWICE.

The first time was the time to say, "Hey, watch your hands, buddy."

Then he did it again and she laughed.

My bet is that he will try something again. She needs to be ready to shut him down.

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