Would a woman like it if her boyfriend or husband openly lets her cheat on him?

The level of avoidance of the question I raised astounds me. Have I not made it clear enough? Let me restate it.

Max, the thing that is fucked up is not sex. It is the attitude towards love.

The thread is about the scenario where a couple are open enough to allow each other the freedom to have sex outside of their relationship. I raised the point that it is virtually always the case that emotional involvement or love is forbidden in these external sexual encounters.

My Main point has little to do with what kind of sex is most pleasurable. It is the attitude of forbidding the othe partner to experience love with another.

THAT is what's fucked up

Thank you for clarifying that. But you are making a statement with no logic behind it.

In a monogamous relationship, why is forbidding erotic love outside of the relationship "fucked up"?

Isn't that what monogamy is?

I didn't say it was.

I hate using the term 'romantic love' because it has been thoroughly 'fucked up' so I'll use the term 'emotional love' which is only slightly less fucked up.

It is the forbidding of 'emotional love' in any relationship that is truly fucked up but that's just my POV.

Having said that, all have the right to make whatever terms they like in a relationship, even fucked up terms.

I used the term "erotic love". I think this term fits perfectly.

I have very close emotional friendships with friends I have no interest in having sex with.

Oh.

Max, I think you have opened my eyes to an error I've been making for a long time. It has been my assumption that at one time or another, everyone had experienced the kind of love I was talking about.

They are all good, puppy love, erotic love, romantic love, brotherly love, etc. But the love I was talking about is the Greek word in the bible - agape i.e. - love. Maybe that's what some people have called by that wildly inappropriate and disgusting name of 'unconditional love', IDK. But in any case, I'm glad you were able, maybe inadvertently, to make me see I've been 'speaking Greek' to people.

Thanks, and I mean that sincerely.

Get over yourself Leadfoot. Agape love is something you have for strangers, or your neighbors, or for your children. It has nothing to do with sex.

This thread is about sexual relationships. Sexual relationships involve pleasurable physical intimacy, usually with a single person. This has nothing to do with Agape... an unconditional love for all people.

(Sorry... you may know I trained for the ministry in my youth. I know my Biblical Greek.)

Sex is a biological function that is highly pleasurable because it releases pleasure chemicals directly into the brain. It is not even exclusive to humans. Dogs enjoy sex as much as we do. You are trying to pretend sex is something more than that. It's not. The meaning you are giving to it is a religious meaning that is culturally specific.

There is nothing spiritual about sex. It is a biological function that is fun to do... and sometimes (but not always) is part of a more emotionally intimate relationship.

Good, you finally got that.

Sorry if you object to thread creep but the 'creeps' are usually what I find most interesting in these threads.

We now return you to the regularly scheduled program on sex..

Great so we are in agreement then.

1) We agree that it is reasonable to let your spouse have agape love for your neighbors.
2) We agree that it is unreasonable to let your spouse have erotic love for your neighbors.
3) We may or may not agree that it is reasonable to let your spouse have sex with your neighbors.

That is where we ended up, rights? That seems to be the same place we started.

In a monogamous relationship, why is forbidding erotic love outside of the relationship "fucked up"?

forbidding erotic love outside of relationships???
What ta heck does it mean?