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Rewording of phrase

 
 
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2016 06:13 am
If we are able to establish a strong Hokkeko organisation, and have each and every one of us execute the daily plan without fail, in due course we will be able to see the achievement of our pledge five years later as an objective that we will definitely achieve.

1. Is the sentence OK, especially in regard to in due of course and five years later?

2. Is the part in bold OK? Wouldn't it be better if I reworded it as follows?
each and every one of us executes the daily plan...

Thanks.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 307 • Replies: 1
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perennialloner
 
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Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2016 08:17 am
@tanguatlay,
1. It's redundant to include both "in due course" and "five years later." Just use "five years later." It shows the course by quantifying it.

2. The part in bold is OK. Your rewording is better.
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