cheating via whatsapp ??

Oh ferchrissakes!

Stop playing detective. You either trust her, or you don't. And if you don't, then end it and do her a favor.

kinda hard on the guy, jespah. It's like you see it as irrelevant whether she's cheating, and he should just get over it. I mean, if she's cheating, that isn't exactly a "so, what?"

No - it's more that we keep seeing people playing detective on here and they are screwing up their relationships.

Right now, he has a few coincidences and a hunch. He has nothing else.

And let's say she is cheating on him. Then ending it is, I suppose, a punishment for her. Or let's say she's not. Then ending it is a benefit for her because she's freed from someone who doesn't trust her.

Why is it so simple as just end it or not? Can't people find a way to talk about things that are bothering them, and go from there? Why go right to "Oh for crissakes, just end it or forget what you saw"?
Makes the whole relationship seem worthless, if the automatic answer here is "forget it, or leave". I agree he could be doing harm with his suspicions, but that might not be all that's going on.

It's just leap, leap, leap to a conclusion here.

And perhaps I am as well.

But when you're with someone for a few years, I dunno, snooping in their social media and hanging your jealous hat on time stamp coincidences is, well, kinda troubling.

YMMV

It was really the fact that after questioning on it she has obviously researched how to stop last seen from being at the same time as the male. Evetytime he is online she turns off data to read messages and reply. I know this because when i send my message. It delays in delivery due to her not having data connection. My partner is not tech savvy so would not know how to do this without researching. I love her and do not want to just walk away.

Then stop snooping behind her back and start having a conversation with her. Don't hurl accusations. Just ask what is going on.

Be prepared to hear something you don't want to hear. Maybe do this in a counselor's office so an impartial third party professional can facilitate things.

If my partner even knew who was in my contact list, male, female, animal vegetable or mineral , let alone asked about it, I'd be asking 'since when did you get to check my goddam phone?' and also (hint to others) 'how and why did you find out my SIM unlock PIN and my lock screen PIN?' and finally 'shall we start a relationship timeout right now?'

She has told you she loves you .

If you don't believe her, you have to decide what to do. You can talk to her more. You can talk to someone (a counsellor/priest etc) about why you continue to be suspicious after someone has confirmed their love for you. You can ask your girlfriend to go to a counsellor with you to talk about your concerns and what you can both do about it. You can break off with her.

We don't know if she is cheating.

You don't know she is cheating.

You started watching her and her contacts for some reason that only you know.

__

If you were my real-life friend, I'd suggest turn off your own social media accounts at this point and just try to live your life. Focus less on what anyone else is doing on social media. I would also seriously encourage you to seek counselling for the two of you if you are considering continuing in the relationship.

You might be dead right about everything.

But it's dead wrong to EVER confront someone with this kind of evidence.
If you want to see it as a heads up about your relationship - that's fine.

I just think it's terrible that when in a relationship, talking to someone else of the opposite sex is almost always something that has to be hidden in this society.

it is awful, isn't it

I don't understand it at all. What is wrong with having friends of any gender? should my partner be concerned when I talk to men? women (because they might be lesbians after all)

I can't imagine living like that.

Set and I not only talk to people of all genders, we flirt with them. It's how things are - and it's quite nice living without suspicion sitting at every corner.

All my thumbs up for that...