@Heeven,
Heeven wrote:
I have a feeling this is going to come to a head and that I will be the one forced to tell her and I dread it.
You don't have to be the one to say anything Heeven. If you tell her, it would be of your own free will, and you wouldn't be forced in any way.
I'd just keep well away from this. Not your circus, not your monkey.