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Relationship Advice - handsome guy with messed up teeth

 
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Aug, 2016 02:20 pm
@MikeyW,
I love Larry David too.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Aug, 2016 08:31 pm
@Username21,
I suggest Rogers approach. A gentle lie. No need to hurt the gut but if you are not attracted so be it. You are an 18 year old girl go with what you are attracted to ... jeepers I am 53 and can appreciate what it was like to be 18.

We each have body types we prefer no excuses need to be made as long as you are kind.
0 Replies
 
TheCobbler
 
  3  
Reply Wed 24 Aug, 2016 04:24 am
@Username21,
Do you have people, knocking down your door to date you? If not...

You can take things slow and see how amendable he is to at least brushing his teeth a couple times a day for your benefit.

Yellow teeth can be brushed and bleached, crooked teeth are a natural part of life.

Crooked or "jacked" teeth can sometimes give a person more character and appeal than perfectly straight teeth.

Rotten teeth can be a huge problem not only health wise but also in gaining employment.

It can take half a lifetime to just meet ANYBODY who wants to be with you even if you are very attractive.

Find out if he is trustworthy, is he otherwise disease free, are there hidden drug problems (don't assume there are not), do you have the same likes and political views, nice teeth are not an instant okay also, consider that.

Sometimes if a man has even one good quality he is a keeper. lol

Dating (no sex) for a year (as friends) to assess these qualities is not unheard of even today.

No friendship should automatically have sex stipulations. You have time, no need to make a rash decision. Get to know him better and those crooked teeth may one day become his most endearing quality to you. Smile
Phoenix32890
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 10:32 am
@ossobucotemp,
I remember Lauren Hutton with the gap between her two front teeth. I think that the look made her interesting!
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 10:39 am
@TheCobbler,
@TheCobbler - that's a great post - good advice for anyone thinking about a relationship.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 11:03 am
@Phoenix32890,
and she was, if I remember..
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 07:09 pm
@TheCobbler,
Quote:

Dating (no sex) for a year (as friends) to assess these qualities is not unheard of even today.


Outside of religious people who don't believe in sex before marriage, and a very small asexual population, I don't believe this is true.

Dating to me implies a serious, usually exclusive, romantic relationship. I can't imagine having this type of relationship for anything close to a year without having sex.

Am I wrong about this?
roger
 
  3  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 07:16 pm
@Phoenix32890,
My goodness! Phoenix and Heeven both posted today, after being absent way too long.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Aug, 2016 08:24 pm
@maxdancona,
Dating to you was exclusive?

Did you work up the exclusive pitch on the second or the fifth meeting? And then did you make vows?
TheCobbler
 
  3  
Reply Fri 26 Aug, 2016 12:03 am
@maxdancona,
According to statistics the year mark is when many marriages break up.

Why subject yourself to an abusive relationship like this?

If all you are after is sex than marriage is not for you.

Marriage is most suited for best friends, friendship like that takes about a year to grown and become strong.

Why involve yourself deeply in something that cannot or will not last? Why let yourself be used so that when the right person comes along you are all worn out and full of so many failures?

I don't care if everyone is hooking up and having sex on the first night this person is different and being selective about who I am intimate with is a standard that I choose to follow.

Casual sex is dirty and unfulfilling.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Fri 26 Aug, 2016 08:41 am
@ossobucotemp,
Yes, Osso. Dating to me implies an exclusive relationship. Are we really arguing about the meaning of the word "dating", or are we arguing about the nature of human relationships.

I believe that for most human beings... if they are in a serious sexual relationship with someone, they want that person to stop having sex with anyone else. Do you disagree with this, Osso?

In my personal dating life... I believe in communication. I have found that when the relationship gets serious, I bring up the issue so that there is no misunderstanding or hurt feelings.

Asking the question "so... are we exclusive now?" is a good discussion to have. It is not a marriage vow, but it is good communication so that both people in a relationship are in the same place and no one gets hurt.

0 Replies
 
sky123
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Aug, 2016 08:43 am
@TheCobbler,
I enjoyed. thank you.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Aug, 2016 08:48 am
@TheCobbler,
There is a lot here.

1) Marriage is not for me. A meaningful relationship that lasts sounds great to me. But that is just me.

2) A consensual sexual relationship of any length is not abusive.

3) Human beings enjoy all sorts of relationships from one night stands, to relationships that last a year or two, to lifetime pairings. They all can be great.

4) What is unfulfilling to you is your personal business.

It is my experience that most people who enter romantic relationship end up having sex after somewhere between 3 and 10 dates. I can't imagine anyone waiting a year (unless for religious reasons or asexuality). But that is just my opinion, I have no data on that.

TheCobbler
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 04:42 am
@maxdancona,
The best sex is when you wait and know the person you are intimate with. Sometimes friends wait years before sex is initiated. Sex should be accompanied by love and love takes time to grow where trust becomes solid.

Nothing is worse than to be all passionate the first night and realize your partner was just playing the field. After the sex they never call again you see them with a different person night after night...

In those instances one wonders if being used was worth the intimacy and risk.

Or, you have sex and notice they spend all day texting to someone on their cell phone. You talk to them and they do not reply with words just uh-huh and head nods.

Then your realize you could never love this type of person...

This is were getting to know a person is the better strategy.

If all a person wants is sex than that is fine too, I guess, but I consider people like that shallow and troublesome...

Nice teeth but what is that big purple blotch on your arm?

Smile
TheCobbler
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 04:43 am
@sky123,
You are welcome Sky. Smile
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 08:00 am
@TheCobbler,
I hope you aren't saying that what is "the best sex" for you is the best sex for everyone. You get to decide what is best for you... but people are different and we all have to decide what good sex means for ourselves as individuals.

In my experience, as a 40 something single man, people have sex after several dates. I personally can't imagine waiting a year. But that is just me, if two people want to wait... that's their choice.

I find it a bit amusing Cobbler, you often seem anti-religious, but in this thread you have religious ideas about sexuality.
TheCobbler
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 08:39 am
@maxdancona,
Liberals can have boundaries, they can be conservative too. It is just that liberals don't necessarily use religious hypocrisy to judge others and justify their gun fetishes.

Onward Christian (republican) hypocrites...

I don't do what everyone else does just because it is the "in" thing.

More than 1.2 million people in the US are living with HIV, and 1 in 8 of them don’t know it.

It takes a week or more to get a standard AIDS test back. Are you saying you get tested on the first night or the third night or the fourth date?

When does the STD test come in?

Do you bring that up between the second course and desert?

A little dancing, a little sight seeing a little prick in the arm?

Liberals may be liberal but that does not mean we do not think about the consequences of our actions or inaction.

And there is the matter of trust.

I once heard a story about this Christian woman, she went to Europe and met a man. They hit it off well and she gave in to his advances and they had sex. She had to go back to the states but they promised to try and keep the relationship going somehow.

The man gave her a parting gift and asked her not to open it until she was on the plane.

She got on the plane and opened the gift, inside the box was a tiny coffin and a note that said welcome to the world of AIDS. (True story)

I believe she died a few years later from AIDS.

In the city where I live in the trick the swingers use is when you ask them if they have AIDS they say, no.

And when you ask, "are you sure" they say, "positive".

I reply, you are positive???? As in your HIV test was "positive"? So it is not quite a lie. They don't have AIDS they have HIV (slight difference) and they are positive. Works well with the ignorant and unsuspecting drunks.

Just like Donald Trump, his tests are all "positive", according to his physician.

I don't care if others want to go and eat Jell-O shots off some strippers chest. That does not mean I have to participate in such decadence just because I am a "liberal".

If others want to do that fine with me! That is what makes me a liberal because I don't pull out some obscure scripture to condemn others while on my 4th marriage. (though I have never been married)

Trust takes time and if you don't know that well there is a bar down the street where the Jell-O shots are only a buck... Go help yourself!
TheCobbler
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 09:03 am
If sex outside of marriage is what a couple wants to do that is their own prerogative. I don't personally want that sort of thing.

The idea of sex outside of love seems contradictory.

Love does not necessarily need marriage.

People can make a love commitment outside of marriage.

It seems republicans are more concerned with the marriage document rather than the reality of the way two people really feel.

Marriage comes with legal benefits so this is the motivation for it.

But a marriage without love is a sad affair, this is something an orthodontist cannot necessarily fix. Smile
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 11:36 am
@TheCobbler,
Your beliefs about sexuality are interesting, but they are based on reason. Consider these facts.

1) The act of sex is an evolved biological process which exists to exchange genetic material. It exists in most higher life forms because of its survival value; it creates genetic diversity leading to a greater ability to adapt and the greater resistance of a population to disease.

2) Sex in nature often happens with no relationship between the two individuals involved. Each couple for bees have a single copulation after a chance meeting and is followed by the quick death of the male. Some solitary mammals meet, copulate (if the timing is right) and then part never to be seen again.

3) Human beings, as social creatures, have instituted (often with religion) long term contractual relationships. These human relationships have often included a duty to have sex for procreation with no expectation of love. These cultures existed and prospered for thousands of years.

4) The link of sex and the modern Western conception of love is fairly recent and comes from a Judeo-Christian view of monogamous relationships. It is not the experience of the majority of human cultures throughout history.

Sex is a biological function that evolved so that we can exist as a species. Our brains and genitals evolved with special circuitry that makes it pleasurable even when not procreating. Most humans like it.

Anything else is cultural baggage.
0 Replies
 
sky123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Aug, 2016 12:22 pm
@TheCobbler,
Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Quote:
those crooked teeth may one day become his most endearing quality to you

Indeed
0 Replies
 
 

 
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