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Tue 9 Aug, 2016 01:31 pm
I work in a small and nice language school and my colleagues are fantastic people and rather professional. The trouble is, our boss is quite difficult to deal with. Whereas sometimes she seems to be an agreeable person, others she just adds more tension to the atmosphere. For example, she keeps swearing and gossipping about the students lives. Even worse is when she talks to me about my colleagues; the thing is, she keeps insulting them and telling me they are not doing well their job instead of discussing it directly with them. This situation is becoming really unpleasant for me. I've been there for five years and I need to stay there at least one more year to be able to get qualified (still finishing my studies) and apply for a new job. The question is, that if I don't end up in good terms with her, I won't get any good reference from this job. How could I cope with her behaviour owing to she is a difficult person who you can talk to?
@notaclue16,
Find other people in the organization who can give you a reference. Just, start cultivating other relationships so you are less dependent on her.
@notaclue16,
The first thing you need to do is have a talk with her to make clear you are not interested in hearing her negative opinions about other staff. The fear that she will not give you a good reference is besides the point, isn't it? Does she own the school? If not, she must also have a boss that you can approach. Living by one's principle is the best way to live your life.
I have walked away from a "good" job on principle, and have never regretted doing so. My pride and ethics is more important than any job.
@notaclue16,
Nota, do take an interest in the negative
Thank you so much for all your replies, I really apareciste them. Unfortunately, it's a small school of her own so there's nobody above her. My fear stems from the fact that this is my first and only teaching experience I got so far and I really need good reference. Cicerone imposter, I couldn't agree you more as I think living according one's own principles is the best way; I used to be like that before I met her. However, she somehow makes me feel I owe her a lot... dalehileman, everytime she starts that silly talk about my colleagues and more..., she tends to make me participate of what she says...it's absolutely annoying.
@notaclue16,
She can't make you do anything of the sort.
Get up and walk away any time she starts. Want an excuse? You had a spicy lunch and it's not agreeing with you. You just remembered there's a spreadsheet you have to update and you need to concentrate on that. You have an appointment with a student. You're taking an early lunch. Whatever. Deflect deflect until you are gone from there. Don't be a part of it.
It sounds like there is other staff. Does she run her game on them, too? Probably not, since she has YOU for an audience.
When she "starts" simply place you hand on hers and say, "Excuse me. I have XYZ to finish." - and then smile and walk away.
When you feel more courageous, and she starts, just say, "Oh, I'm not interested in XYZ's problems." and change the subject.
You had better get a backbone if you are going to be in the teaching business and have to handle irate parents and obnoxious kids. Consider taking an assertive training class to learn how to deal with people like your boss.
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