Don't know what to do...

Dear All,

My husband cheated on me, I am so broken and confused, I have no idea what to do...We know each other since 12 years, we are married since 10, have 2 sons (age 5 and 9). My husband is working on manager position and I am staying at home with kids. 2 months ago he admitted that since 5 months he has had an affair with woman from his office. It started during one of their business trips and very fast developed into something serious. He told me that he needs to leave me and that he wants to start new life with her. It was not always good between us but it didn't expect that he will make such a drastic move, without trying to solve our problems first...he moved out for some time and then something didn't work between them. He told me that he understood that he has still feelings towards me and that he would never forgive himself if he would not be able to tell the kids that he tried everything to solve our marriage. He told the same to this woman and, as far as I know, she was completely devastated...We started to work on our issues, talk a lot, spend more time together, sleep with each other and try to manage what happened between them. We were on really good track and then he went for the next business trip. I knew that she would be there but I had trust in him. He came back after one week, completely changed and absent...He told me that we need to talk and then I knew what he was going to tell me. He told me that they went partying (not alone), they both got drunk and landed up in bed. I asked him if it was the only time. He replied that no, he slept with her again 2 days later. He said that he wanted her to hate him, because he still feels that she has some feelings towards him. I asked him to move out. He tells me all the time that he doesn't love her, that it was the biggest mistake and that he wants to be with me and kids...he is great father, but I am so hurt that I cannot imagine that I could trust him ever again. We spent so many years together, we have beautiful children and I don't know what to do...Is it possible that he still loves me? Would he hurt me so much if he would love me? I know it is difficult to judge on it, without knowing us but please help me, I am completely lost. I am not sleeping, I lost 15 kilos and I cannot stop thinking how my life will look like without us staying together...