Confessions

How can you be sure they will not be invented? I could tell you the story of my inflatable sex doll, and how she cheated on me, and what I did to her after that, if you like.

It involves scissors.

OK my first one got a downvote. How about this: a thousand words, topic being my story, the theme being "a a boy for love, a woman for children, a watermelon for pleasure". I could make it comical or serious, your choice, I could spice it up: law enforcement agency involvement, politics, religion. Fifty cents a word, we could use Paypal, send me a PM.

I repair inflatable dolls in my spare time in a shed up the backyard, amongst other things.

Some are so irreparably damaged by their experiences that I re-purpose them by melting them down to make rounded plastic scissors that wont cut or hurt anyone.

I like to enhance their innate capabilities by enabling them to quote famous lines from history such as:

I love you,
Ooo that's big, and
Other banalities ad nauseam with perfect diction , which can come as quite the surprise under the circumstances.

They can also play songs for those who prefer musical accompaniment eg.