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Fri 20 May, 2016 11:16 am
Ok here goes, I met a great girl online 3 months ago and we connected immediately! We started spending quite of bit of time, and we talked about a future together! After about a month and half, she went home and started acting very distant, I asked her if everything was ok and what could I do to help. She said she just needed a bit of time at home! we kept texting a bit and talking on phone, after a few days she came to me and told me she was struggling! She has been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, and that when she feels overwhelmed she retreats to her house to be alone until it passes. She said she has medication that she takes when she is having Anxiety. I told when she needed space to take it I completely understand. She said we should slow things and I agreed, things got better for a bit but the distance grew again and she retreated. She said she knew she needed so She went to the doctor 3 weeks ago and got on some meds to take everyday! Since then we did not spend much time together, but continued to talk regularly thru text and phone calls! Mother's Day weekend we went to spend sometime with her friends, we had fun! On Mothers Day we went and met each other's mothers for the first time, everything went well, and she was say " we got this, we make a great team! She stayed that night at my place then went home. After that we spoke a few times it was nice nothing seemed to be wrong! Then last Friday she text and said we need to talk, I said ok and she came over! She said it wasn't working for her and she needed to break it off! I told her ok and asked her why, she said it was too much pressure for her and she didn't have the feelings she felt she should have for me! I explained that we hadn't been dating long enough and what feelings did she feel she needed! She said she didn't feel romantically towards me! I told her no way she did too and she was looking for reasons to get out cuz of her fears and worries caused by her anxiety! She said that it was just too much pressure and she shut down! I really liked her and could she a future with her, she did too! I don't understand, why? Is this just her anxiety? I have read a lot about Anixiety and depression but I' so confused, I know she had feelings for me!
Quote:she said it was too much pressure for her and she didn't have the feelings she felt she should have for me!
She told you how she felt...
Quote:I explained that we hadn't been dating long enough and what feelings did she feel she needed!
You 'explained' to her that her own feelings weren't valid, that you knew her feelings better than she did, and that you should be the judge of what feelings were needed.
Quote:She said she didn't feel romantically towards me!
She tried again...
Quote:I told her no way she did too
You did it again!
Quote:She said that it was just too much pressure and she shut down!
This is not surprising. She (correctly) perceived that you think you know her better than she does herself. That is too much for anyone, anxiety condition or no anxiety condition.
Quote: Is this just her anxiety?
It's 'just' how she feels.
Quote:I know she had feelings for me!
You were seeing her for 3 months. Quite often the giddy feeling of excitement people get when dating someone new can fade away, especially as they start to get to know each other. That's all that happened here.
Quote:we talked about a future together! After about a month and half, she went home and started acting very distant,
A future together after 6 weeks?
@Tes yeux noirs,
Wow I guess your right...I never looked at it in that way nor did I mean to come across that way!
Thank you for your insight!
My suggestion is: don't let this put you off dating. These things happen to everybody. It's how we learn.