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...stating your zone, telephone number, “Sado” or “no Sado” and slot it...

 
 
Reply Mon 18 Apr, 2016 09:38 am
Those who wish to attend the August pilgrimage, please prepare a photocopy of your passport, stating your zone, telephone number, “Sado” or “no Sado” and slot it in the Pilgrimage Box.

The above is from a Nichiren Shu magazine.

I believe stating is not correctly used in the sentence. I think on it should have been included. I have revised it as follows. Is it better than the original? Thanks.

Those who wish to attend the August pilgrimage, please prepare a photocopy of your passport, state your zone, telephone number, “Sado” or “no Sado” on it and slot it in the Pilgrimage Box.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 257 • Replies: 2
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engineer
 
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Reply Mon 18 Apr, 2016 09:52 am
@tanguatlay,
I'm not familiar with what your passports look like, but I would either say:

Those who wish to attend the August pilgrimage, please prepare a photocopy of your passport showing your zone, telephone number, “Sado” or “no Sado” and slot it in the Pilgrimage Box.

-or-

Those who wish to attend the August pilgrimage, please prepare a photocopy of your passport, state your zone, telephone number, “Sado” or “no Sado” and slot it in the Pilgrimage Box.

It depends on whether the information requested in on the passport or if you are providing it separately.
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tanguatlay
 
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Reply Mon 18 Apr, 2016 10:06 am
Thanks, engineer.
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