Need my dad

I am sorry that you are in this situation.

I hope you are seeing a psychologist.

Insomnia and hearing a voice are both signs that you are under a lot of stress. Please understand that seeing a psychologist doesn't mean you are crazy (I am certainly not saying that)... there are many of us who find that seeing a psychologist to help with stress or to deal with a difficult situation is very helpful.

If you are in school, there is almost certainly a counselor you can talk to. There are also resources in most cities for people who don't have very much money.

As far as finding your father. Generally you start with the information you have and work out from there. I don't know if you have any information to start a search, it seems to me that without your mother's help and information this would be rather difficult. I hope that you can communicate to your mother why this is important to you and persuade her that you connecting with your father won't hurt her.

Seeing a therapist (or psychologist) can help with these types of very important discussions.

Hi

Thanks for the reply. I am seeing a counselor who is helping me. As for my mom, she is shallow and wants things her way. She knows how serious my medical condition is. First, my eyes are painful. They itch and sometimes used to change colour whenever I woke up every morning. They'd be green and go back to their original colour which is dark brown. Second, the bones in my right hand and leg snap. Its like as if they're breaking. The doctor said the ligaments stretched too far. He also said my left leg is also the same but won't snap.

I'll be fine I guess. Maybe my dad doesn't wanna know me or my mom won't let him know me.

Again, thanks for the reply and concern.

I am happy to hear you are getting help. And I hope you have luck both with your medical issues and in finding your dad.

The only advice I know give you is to spend your energy on the things that are in your control. Work on getting better and on building relationships with the people around you. It sounds frustrating that you can't find more about your father, but there is hope things will change in the future... and right now it sounds like that door isn't open.

It's frustrating as hell, but it is impossible to know what your dad wants. Speaking as a dad, I would definitely want to know my daughter... but not knowing who he is or what his circumstances are it is really hard to say. Please understand that balance; don't lose hope for the future... but it will be good if you can leave this for now and work on the other parts of your life until this door opens.

You will be fine.

I agree with Max, but I'm wondering about others who may know something and be able to help you, perhaps in her family? Your medical matters are important; I hope you find a source of serious help for that. I'm wondering how old you are and if you can reach out to help from your city staff people or even child protective services.

I'm no expert in all this, but don't want you to give up, quite the opposite.

Thank you. I will focus on the good things in life. You never know what might happen in the future. Good things will happen and I hope wherever he is, he is happy and has a wonderful family.

Thank you so much for your help and time

Hi.
I'm 16 turning 17 in November. I'm from South Africa. No one in my family is willing to help me. Whenever I ask for about my dad, its like I'm asking for war. I do have a right to know my dad but they're violating that right.

Like Max said, I should focus on my health and getting better and so I will do that. Hopefully I'll get help from someone

Ok, and good wishes, both for your immediate health issues (A: have an excellent doctor; B: have an excellent doctor; C: find one, even if you have to go to emergency. Well, that is probably extreme, but consider looking up what clinics are available at your local university hospital. Perhaps Orthopedics?

Anyway, maybe an excellent doctor or the counsellor will know enough to lead you to other sources that can help you about your health or even finding your father. Not knowing how things go in South Africa re when a child gets to make their own decisions, I'm stymied, but you might check that out. You can probably find it online.

None of my business, of course, but are you religious? Sometimes the clergy can be useful. I'm not religious, and the clergyman my parents took me too didn't seem to believe me and gave me platitudes, so I'm not saying this is always useful, but some of them can be smart in good ways.

I'm a Christian. Thanks for the help and advice. I do have an excellent doctor. Finding my dad will take some time . Although I do have a feeling that wherever he is, he is looking for my sister and I but hey, I don't know his thoughts so I can never hold my breath.

I am doing fine with counseling so I'll be better soon and hopefully find my dad

Thanks again for the help and advice

Ok, good to read your reply.

You're welcome.

Remember us here, to report back in the future, if you'd like to.

Will do

Hi

I received some new info regarding my dad. My aunt was able to tell me his surname and suggests that I try talking to my mom about it and that I'm old enough to know

Thank you guys for the help. It really means a lot