Parents: Why do you have to be so doom-gloom once your kids graduate college?

Are you kidding?

Time for you to grow up.

About what?

Life.

Would you say to a prisoner serving a 4 year sentence, on his release date, "You've been in jail for 4 years, would it kill you to stay just one more year?"

Supporting a person through college is an expensive business; you have to pay out college fees and also provide some or all of the student's living expenses. Why should that continue once the need has gone? The former student is now (hopefully) an adult with a qualification, who should get off their goddam ass and support themselves. Many older generation people find 20-somethings irritating. Maybe not their offspring so much, but their friends and associates, who, if they don't have a job to go to, tend to stay up all night, raid the fridge, lie about all day watching daytime TV etc.

Oh, and play loud stupid music and say "like" every 3 words.

I'm only saying it should for one more year, not forever.

"Why should that continue once the need has gone?"

So I can have one year of glory in my life. ONE. After I graduate college, I fantasize myself working and supporting myself while all my friends are still having to be supported by their parents. I want their parents to be complaining about how they're still having to support their kid while my parents are bragging about my independence. I've never had any glory before. NONE.

Of course!!!! Nothing is as pleasurable and exciting as skipping vacations, putting off buying that new car, while you continue to do your child's laundry and cook for them, and pay their bills and maintain health insurance for them. And because they are over 18, they come and go as they please, often leaving you to wonder if they've been in an accident or kidnapped. That's is so much fun. Look at it this way, when your children graduate from college, you can decide to let them remain home another 5 years so they can have their glory. Because we all know that no one ever ever ever remembers how to have fun once they reach 40.

The glory I want is me working and supporting myself while all my friends are having to rely on and live with their parents.

Methinks this thread should now die a death, since it is clear that this doetwin dweeb is just pushing our buttons.

They can stay -- as long as they get a job and pay rent. And follow your rules...don't expect to be treated 100% as an adult until you take 100% of the responsibility of an adult.

If you are ok with that then I am ok with it.

(kids not in college yet - but that will be the rule).

My parents did that with me - when I came back, I was to be actively interviewing and job searching - and I did -- worked temp jobs until I found a permanent one - and then I paid rent until I decided I'd rather I complete control and freedom of my life and moved out and paid rent to someone else.

Mommy having trouble weaning you?

Time to get off the titty, Cupcake.

I want that to be the case with all my friends, but not me.

As osso said, grow up! When our kids were very young, I told them I expected them to go to college. They already understood, it meant they had to become independent. Our older son now lives in Austin and works for the university. We visit him about every other year, and he comes home about twice a year.

I agree with what you said about paying for their education that includes living expenses, but it's been several decades where college graduates have been having problems finding jobs. It really depended upon what their major was.
Our son continued his education at the University of Texas in Austin for his masters, and now works for the university. The pay isn't 'great,' but he's independent, and as an avid reader, working in the university library is just like heaven to him. I have always told my kids, I wanted them to go into a profession that they would enjoy working in.
What more can I ask?

My bother-in-law was an English Professor at Tulane, sadly he died in 1987at the age of 49. OK that's not a positive, but his mother inherited his pension and insurance funds, it was quite a surprising amount. We wish he was the one collecting his benefits, his mother does as well, but University jobs pay well, and you won't starve when you retire. I understand it might pale in comparison to Pro Ball compensation or Wall Street fictional success stories but if you enjoy academic research, and the University life style it will be a lovely way to stay employed and stay solvent.