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Blurred lines and grey areas, dating my ex.

 
 
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2016 03:43 am
My ex and I have recently been seeing each other again and it's been great. Fun, dates, affection, spending our weekends together, etc. I've declared my goals in terms of the relationship (a renewed commitment, to be back together officially) to him I've asked him to tell me what he wants. He hasn't said anything either way but continues to spend time with me and treat me well.
Here's the issue: since we are not exsclusive I've kept a dating app open and I'm open to seeing others. Honestly I don't really want to and haven't actually gone out with anyone since he and I have reconnected, but until he expresses he wants a commitment I don't feel comfortable shutting all of my options down.
It turns out friend of his coworker and I have exchanged messages on the dating app. Nothing salacious, no number exchange or dates, just small talk. Now my ex doesn't want to talk to me. He's said he's not angry but feels foolish that he's been acting like my boyfriend while knowing we are not exclusive. He says he knows he can't be angry because we are still both technically single but feels hurt and embarrassed.

I love and adore this man and want things to work out but now he's pulled away. How can I rectify this? Or should I cut my losses and move on?

 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2016 03:59 am
If he wanted exclusivity he should have said so. It sounds like he wants the fun (and sex?) of being with you (when he wants) but does not wish to be tied down. However he gets angry when you act as if you are not in an exclusive relationship with him. Sadly, an all too common attitude in men. Move on.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2016 05:04 pm
He expects you to be exclusive, yet he has not sealed the deal with you with any commitment.

Tell him that you still feel unattached until he makes you feel exclusive to him.

(You really do seem to still be ambivalent about this relationship. Why did you break up before?)


0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2016 06:53 pm
@fizzo108,
fizzo108 wrote:
Nothing salacious, no number exchange or dates, just small talk. Now my ex doesn't want to talk to me.


sounds like there's at least one good reason he's your ex - and should probably stay in that category

__

you've indicated an interest in a committed relationship
he doesn't reciprocate but is annoyed if you don't behave as if you're in a committed relationship

that's a seriously annoying guy
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2016 03:31 pm
@fizzo108,
Quote:
He's said he's not angry but feels foolish that he's been acting like my boyfriend while knowing we are not exclusive. He says he knows he can't be angry because we are still both technically single but feels hurt and embarrassed.


Be assertive, tell him to grow some balls, you didn't sleep with the guy, exchange nude photos, go out here's his chance to tell the Co-worker back off she's mine, we just took a break and she's kept her options open as she's assertive like that. Or let you go one of the two.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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