Who is right? - Perspectives on Race, Power and Privilege

This was an OK Cupid conversation I initiated with a Black female, age 20. Her profile talked a lot about how she supported various Black victims. I am a 27 year old White male.


Me: To most people I am pretty progressive. I am an artist dedicated to tearing down social constructions. We should talk and see if we get along. I like the way you are talking. ​
Me: Do you support all victims or only those who are black? Lol
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Her: Niiiicceee. I love tearing down social constructions.
Her: That's an interesting question lol.
Here is a better one.
Do white people generally support all victims or only those who are white?

Me: Is that really a better question? That just depends on the person.... Power structures are certainly set up to support whites more than blacks or other minorities... What do you think?
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Her: Yeah, it's a better question because I do not exactly see how it is suitable for a white individual to ask a black individual if they only support black victims in a world that does not and has never prioritized or let alone ACKNOWLEDGED black struggles. Black people need all the attention they can get. To make a long story short, your question just reeked of privilege.

On another note, I agree that power structures are set up to support whites. And it is really not even a matter of just what anyone thinks. That is what it is.

There are several forms of systematic oppression though. Racism (which you benefit from), misogyny/sexism (again, you benefit.. as well as other races of men), Homo-antagonism (You and I both benefit as heterosexuals which is the standard.), Transphobia (You and I have cis privilege. We identify with our social gender from birth and therefore we do not face stigma for it.).
The list goes on and on. Several forms of systematic forms of oppression that we must look into.

I would definitely say that you as a heterosexual white male which is quite a powerful status in society... you have a lot of unpacking to do.

Me: Wow. You don't know me, nor my experiences. I really do understand how you could see my comment that way, but you also are sounding like you have a little unpacking to do.

I have a pretty good understanding of power and privilege for someone with my social status. I have had some very unique experiences for someone in my shoes. I don't think the source of a question is important.

I really really do agree with you that Blacks need more support (a lot for many!) I think that there are two sides to this conversation, one side is changing power structures, supporting minorities, protesting and so on. And the other side is it's 2016, and we don't want children growing up with the idea of divisions! Its about the kids.

But also yeah. I totally am in support of what you do. You sound like a strong Black woman and a righteous sister! - I was also trying to push your buttons just a wee little bit to stimulate conversation, lol, and it seemed to have worked.
Her: Ooowee.
Her: Where do I begin...

Me: Let me have it!
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Her: I do not need to know you personally to be able to identify where you have used your privilege. I just need to know how I have been affected by a certain ideology my entire life. I do have unpacking to do.. as every human being does. But that response was unnecessary as you are clearly being put in an uncomfortable position and therefore looking for a way to deflect. It's similar to saying "Well, we all have our own opinions." ..Gee, I would have never guessed that opinions are a common thing, you mega genius.

There are not two sides to this conversation. Let me guess what else... "Boohoo, reverse racism" huh? Yeah, no.

"It's 2016. We do not want children growing up with the idea of division."
Says the privileged party that orchestrated division.

If you want black people to have a better vision when it comes to reality, change reality. Otherwise you are asking us to be delusional and that is not happening.

My next question.. what is your definition of a "strong black woman"?


Me: I'm about to drive. I will read and respond later ​

Me: I have not been involved at all in creating divisions. I have greatly benefited from privilege no question. You are also quite privileged by global standards.

I'm not saying black people have a poor vision. Different people have different visions. Period. I want everyone to have a better vision including myself!

Some people say blacks can't be racist because of the power structure. There is a lot of credence to this argument, but it can still happen on a small scale.

I think you are a strong black woman because u stand up for the discrimination that you and others receive for being part of this group. Duh. And you are very aware of the difference in epistemology between among ethnicities and genders and so on.


I keep things pretty simple, try not to over think it (anymore lol) I have benefited greatly, so whenever I am exerting power, which is really most of the time, I try my best to do it equally... And in my life and art I try to educate about the lies of social constructions, plain and simple
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Me: Do you find people who agree with you?
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Her:Well I have said all I'm willing to say.
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Me:Same! Good luck
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Her: Save it, white privileged piece of ****