8
   

how can you tell if two people are having sex

 
 
capn
 
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 08:38 am
Scenario: You are sharing a house with other people, be it friends or distant relatives. How can you tell that two people are getting it on, without catching them in the act.
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 09:25 am
@capn,
Why would you care?
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 09:48 am
There are DNA tests now available in drug stores. I bet that you could take swabs of each persons bed, pillows and undergarments and send them into a lab for analysis.

0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 12:29 pm
@capn,
You should listen out for two minutes of something that sounds like spatula thwacking, a few whimpers, a loud exclamation of "TALLY HO!" followed by a whiff of a good quality cigar.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 01:06 pm
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  4  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 01:43 pm
@Lordyaswas,
Only if you're British. Us Krauts we jodel in high pitched voices.....it's rather nice when it's in sync (ideally).

Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 01:45 pm
@CalamityJane,
In the UK, the lady ahould always yodel first.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 01:54 pm
@Lordyaswas,
As you can see from my video above, it's also the case with Krauts, but
sometimes the yodeling is crafted to perfection so it will be a nice duet Wink
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 03:22 pm
how can you tell if two people are having sex

By the smell.

(Often of fish that's gone off.)
0 Replies
 
jcboy
 
  3  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2016 04:57 pm
@capn,
If you ever see them playing leapfrog naked they could be having sex.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 Jan, 2016 02:04 am
It's all a matter of the feathers and how they move.


Kidding. Maybe that the room is quiet. They know you're there.
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  2  
Reply Wed 20 Jan, 2016 07:56 pm
@capn,
They both come out of the same bedroom in the morning, and one says to the other, "You were great last night." And the other replies something like, "Oh god, so were you."

Or, when they mistakenly believe that you are not within earshot, you hear one of them say, "Do you think capn is on to us yet?" And the other replies, "I doubt it. I saw that he started a thread on able2know, and it seems to indicate that he lacks enough evidence to confirm his suspicions. So, are we on tonight?" And the other says, "You bet!"
0 Replies
 
najmelliw
 
  2  
Reply Fri 22 Jan, 2016 01:16 pm
@capn,
capn wrote:

Scenario: You are sharing a house with other people, be it friends or distant relatives. How can you tell that two people are getting it on, without catching them in the act.


Buy a pregnancy test. Lay it in front of the bedroom door when they are getting it on (at least, when you suspect they do). Interpret their reaction when they discover this test upon opening the door.

As an added bonus, you'l also learn whether it's time to invest in diapers and other baby accessories.

PS. Obviously, this only works in such encounters that could viably result in pregnancy. In other types of couplings (ie, same gender, vasectomy, or just statistically non viable age brackets) said test will probably induce more laughs than anything else, but it might still result in you learning whether or not they are performing indoor sports in bed together.

Please note that it will also be perfectly obvious to the persons in question that you are - at least potentially - aware of shenanigans happening in the bedroom, but since your only restriction was 'without catching them in the act', this is a valid response.

Good luck!
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jan, 2016 08:26 am
Are they concerned you're "flying solo"?
0 Replies
 
 

 
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