Disturbing Person

Well, you answered your own question. You simply . . . get rid of them. That's not really the hard part though, is it? The hard part is getting rid of the body. If I were you, I would tie the body to the undercarriage of your neighbor's car while it's parked at the local bar some night. Let them try talking their way out of that one. And if it's a neighbor who has ever wronged you in any way, you'll be killing two birds with one stone so to speak. But maybe you've been so lucky throughout your life that you have no enemy neighbors who have wronged you enough to warrant doing that do them. In that case, you might want to consider plan B.

For plan B you'll need a small boat or canoe with an electric trolling motor installed. You will also need to weld a handgun to the inside of the canoe in such a way that it is pointing at the bottom of the canoe. Then weld, or chain, a good-sized hunk of steel to the bottom of the boat. Next, take an old fashioned, wind-up alarm clock and weld it to the inside of the boat just above the pistol. Then connect one end of a length of fishing line to the wind-up key of the alarm clock, and the other end to the trigger of the gun. As the wind-up key slowly unwinds, it will take up the slack in the fishing line and eventually pull the trigger, which will put a hole in the canoe and send it to the bottom of a lake or the ocean. The amount of slack in the line will determine how far the canoe will go before being sunk by the bullet.

Now all you have to do is secure the body inside the canoe with a length of chain, load the canoe onto your pick up, and head for the ocean or lake after dark. And don't go over the speed limit, and make sure your brake-lights and all that stuff is working; you really don't want to **** up at this point, or you'll have a story to tell your grandchildren alright, but only after you get out of prison, and the story will not reflect kindly on your character. I don't think I have to explain the rest. Oh, and bring another handgun in case of unwanted witnesses; one never knows. And if that does happen, don't sweat it. A canoe will easily hold two bodies.

And you'll want to choose a deep lake. Might I suggest one of the Great Lakes? They're deep, and there's lots of hotels situated along the shore line in case you want to get a room and a bottle of liquor and drink yourself to sleep. If it's your first time, choose something that's 100 proof. My first time, I chose 140 proof rum. But don't worry, after the first couple of times, wine (13%) will do the trick.

No wonder this is where people come for advice.

My way is effective, though I can see how others might view it as somewhat extreme. What would your recommendation to the OP be?

C'mon Glennn, that was a compliment.

Yeah, I know. I was just using your post as a springboard to get this thread back on a serious note, as I am guilty of derailing it.

And to that end, I would ask the OP to offer some detail to his particular situation. That way we can determine whether or not any canoes need to be harmed in the solution to his dilemma.

But as to my original solution, I just said what everyone was thinking. But I'm the one who had the courage to say it.

With the given "As avoiding is kind of not possible..." it's going to be impossible to give advice without much more detail being given. In fact, there may be no useful advice possible.

The same applies, of course, to the harming of canoes.

You put way too much thought into that.

Or is it something that you've done before?

Well, I understand that it may well come across as way too much thought to some people. But to some, it's just a passing idea put into words.

But in answer to your question, yes, it is something I've done before. Nevertheless, it was done within about a twenty-minute time frame, if that's what you need to know.

I just took a quick look at your posting history. Now I see why my post appeared to you to have way too much thought put into it. All I can tell you is that practice makes perfect.

When I asked if it was something you had done before I was referring to the canoe scenario, not to you putting too much thought into a post.

And, just to be clear, I wasn't being serious.

Sorry, my mistake. Boy, you don't know how close you came to a canoe ride. I was just on Craig's List looking for a used canoe.

But in answer to your question, yes, it is something I have done before. Trust me when I tell you that they had it coming. You'll understand if I tell you that this is just between you and me, and no one else has to know.

Cherrie, should we let Glenn in on something about the nature of posting here?

What? It's anonymous here!

RIGHT?

Sure. That's why I didn't see it, or make the comment - which was to cherrie, so I don't understand why you're replying to me.

Sure, this post is to Cherrie, but I'm the subject. And you're implying something about my lack of understanding about anonymity here. So I addressed you.

But yeah, I get it; fun's over, back on the bus . . .

Nah, I think we should just give him a bit more rope...

I think he's done just fine with what he's got.

Do you think they'll come for me?

They're probably on their way right now.